It Ain't No Auger
Having seen the article 'Scientists at Newcastle University, England, announced last month that they had created the first part-human, part-animal hybrid embryos ', April 1, 2008, BBC News, Health, I immediately saddled my fast electromagnetic horse, and, like the Thermo-man, swished into future and past.
Read full storyChelsea Sell Trophy Cabinet
Chelsea Football Club, who lost last night's Champions League Final to Manchester United on penalties, have ended the season without any success whatsoever, and have decided to sell their trophy cabinet.
Read full storyDevon Liberation Army Strike Again
The Devon Liberation Army today bombed a restaurant in Exeter, and a communique from the DLA headquarters in Torbay said this : 'While London continues to oppress the Devonian people, and occupy our great and ancient county, we will continue with our...
Read full storyCelebrations as Zimbabwe receives Millennium Squared Award
Inhabitants of Zimbabwe are set to receive accolades and plaudits from around the world as their president Robert "Mad Bob" Mugabe jets off to the UN in the official Zimbabwean Sopwith Camel to receive his "World Bank Millennium Square...
Read full storyThe Worst 10 Eurovision Songs
The results of the BBC's Worst 10 Eurovision Songs vote was announced today, and here is the list. * 'La la la la la', by Sweden's The Bjeardies. * 'Oompa Oompa, Ra Ra Ra', by Switzerland's Christine Dior. * 'Death To Turkish Cyprus', by Greece's Bubble and Squeaks. * 'Why Are We In A European Contest?', by Israel's The Mother-In-Laws. * 'Heil Heidi Heidi', by Germany's The Goosest...
Read full storyCherie joins Carlton Club
London - (Rotters): Cherie Blair has joined her birth mother Margaret Thatcher in becoming a member of the elite Tory stink-tank the Carlton Club which voted yesterday to end its men-only rule.
Read full storyWolverines slam TV presenter's Herculean mile high sex romp reports
Sydney, Australia - (Cheeky Ass Mess): Wolverines' lead singer Darcy LeYear has rubbished stories that Who Dares Wins TV presenter Tania Zaeeta shagged an entire detachment of Australia's elite SAS aboard a Hercules carrier enroute...
Read full storyDepleted Photons and Global Swarming
Is there global warming, yes, possibly followed by global cooling. Planet earth is going through one of its Millennial cycles. Is this cause man made by pollutants and hydrocarbons, e.g. CO2? We don't really know, as most of the science appears to be a politically motivated career opportunity.
Read full storyZimbabwe offers assistance to South Africa
Robert Mugabe today offered assistance with the outbreak of xenophobic attacks in neighbouring South Africa.
Read full storyHumans to be put on the ESL
The US Department of Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) announced today that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has petitioned to have Humans put on the endangered Species List (ESL).
Read full story'Savages' to blame for TV reprimand
TV bosses have reacted with anger to claims they are biased towards London.
Read full storyPope JP2 Lodge beatification "as soon as witness against him takes a hit": Vatican
Rome - (Satanic Mess): Plans to make Pope John Paul II a saint are on a roll just as soon as the Vatican makes the necessary arrangements for the customary drive-by shooting to eradicate the principal witness against him.
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Awarded Freedom Of Manchester Gay Quarter
Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United winger whose goal helped the Reds to win last night's Champions League Final in Moscow, is to be given the freedom of Manchester's Gay Quarter as a result of his services to the area. The Portuguese player...
Read full storyChampions League Final The Wettest On Record
Last night's Champions League Final at the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow was the wettest on record, say meteorologists, who clearly have no sense of occasion. Nearly 20million buckets of rain fell - enough to ruin
Read full storyChelsea dribbling skills not enough to win against Manchester United
In an exciting football final where Manchester United met Chelsea in Moscow, which is a still a 'communist-ish' city sufficiently far enough away from the UK to keep troublemakers at bay, Chelsea's dribbling skills were not enough to gain...
Read full storyParaphernalia4yourgentalia, Guest, Cristiano Ronaldo
Dear Ronaldo, I am a great admirer of your football prowess (I forgive you for the missed penalty kicks in the finals against Chelsea (...
Read full storyRonaldo's Miss Blamed on Hoes Not Bros
Manchester's Cristiano Ronaldo's missed crucial penalty kicks have set the world of sport speculating about the cause of his big choke. Many are drawing analogies to the US Dallas Quarterback and his Mexican lark with a sexy mama.
Read full storyNCAA Report on Acceptability of Conference USA Nicknames
Part 5 of a 12 part series...
Read full storyBush Enrolls in Ringling Brothers Clown College
George Walker Bush has been considering his post-Presidential options as his lame duck presidency grows lamer and lamer and he ducks responsibility more and more.
Read full storyRural Britons Dominate Broadband!
Broadband providers throughout the United Kingdom are reporting that the majority of the sales are coming from the rural regions of the Queen's England. Some analysts believed that the trend was fueled by the poor telly reception and the exorbita...
Read full storyUSA Hot Dog, Warren Buffet Goes Shopping in Frankfurter!
The Daddy War and Peace bucks of USA and International bizness, Warren Buffet has abandoned his usual chase after Greenbacks and stocks in US owned enterprises. The Bush Greater Depression has sent the money hound sniffing abroad.
Read full storyRepoMan, New American Idol!
In an amazing development on hit show, American Idol, all leading contestants were rejected in favor of an astounding call in campaign for RepoMan.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus turning normal grown men into pedophiles
Provocative 15-year-old Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus is turning formerly healthy heterosexual men into pedophiles, according to law enforcement agencies.
Read full storyBrown Directs British Admiralty to Hunt Down and Destroy Hello Kitty
Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced he has had enough of Japanese capitalist imperialism seeking world domination through consumer electronics, mind-numbing computer games and anime. "Britain is a tolerant, fair and decent country but enough i...
Read full storyWiggles' Big Red Car Piles Up Over 100 Infractions in Eight U.S. States
Taba Naba, Torres Strait -- Highway patrolmen and local police officers from 13 U.S. cities in eight states announced a concerted effort today to locate and impound a homemade automobile known as the Big Red Car for over 100 infractions ranging from...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Goes Into Labor While Filming High School Musical 3!!
We all know that, High School Musical star, Vanessa Hudgens was preganant by co-star, Zac Efron. Well, one day when they were all filming, Vanessa started yelling and screaming, that her water broke (as she got pregnant last year.)...
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