Written by NickFun

Thursday, 22 May 2008

image for Miley Cyrus turning normal grown men into pedophiles
Law enforcement says undulating is reserved for those over 18

Provocative 15-year-old Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus is turning formerly healthy heterosexual men into pedophiles, according to law enforcement agencies.

Many law enforcement agencies including local police, the FBI and Homeland Security have confiscated semi-nude pictures off the hard drives of nearly 350,000 men in the northeastern United States alone displaying Cyrus in seductive and undulating poses and in varying stages of undress.

"The key word here is 'undulating'", said FBI agents Anthony Beguichi. "Undulating is not allowed for anyone under 18".

One of the men arrested claimed he was just reading online. "I just downloaded a copy of Vanity Fair magazine", claimed Ralph Jeffers of Ojai, CA. "I wasn't using the pictures to jerk off or nothing".

Local police thought differently. "He obviously finds some kind of enjoyment from those pictures of that young girl or he wouldn't have downloaded them", said Sgt John Sullivan of the Ojai, CA Police Department. "Men don't read Vanity Fair unless there's something sexy or provocative in there. We found a soiled towel right beside his computer where he was viewing the pictures. We are testing that towel for semen and DNA evidence. Just looking at those pictures makes me hard…I mean angry!"

FBI agents plan to arrest the magazines editor, publisher and all the photographers involved in the photo shoot for production and distribution of child pornography.

"She's a hot young vixen", said a Los Angeles man who asked not to be named. "I would love to get into her pants. And I haven't thought that way about a teenager since I was 19!"

Ms Cyrus will be meeting with sexual abuse counselors for, of all things, counseling.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Miley Cyrus

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