Inhabitants of Zimbabwe are set to receive accolades and plaudits from around the world as their president Robert "Mad Bob" Mugabe jets off to the UN in the official Zimbabwean Sopwith Camel to receive his "World Bank Millennium Squared" award.
This award recognises the first country in the world to reach the magic one million per cent inflation mark, and it looks like Zimbabwe will actually have surpassed this by the middle of next week.
Local Hararean resident, Imbleedin Starvin, a retired post office owner whose post office had no stamps and whose customers had no money to buy stamps anyway, is absolutely delighted for the government. She says:
"While ten years ago, 200 million Zimbabwe Dollars would have bought 12 new cars, today, you can just about get a loaf of bread, that is, if you can find any in our shops.
"However, I know that the reason it is hard to buy bread, other food and goods is that our magnificent leader, Lord Mugabe, insists that shops stay neat and tidy without cluttering up their shelves with things to sell. His clean shop policy has been so successful."
Robert Mugabe, whose anagram is 'Brute Mega Rob' and 'Be Embargo Rut', is naturally enough delighted. He said:
"There is absolutely nothing wrong in Zimbabwe at the moment. I don't know what the UN are going on about at all. My people have plenty to eat, especially those in my ruling government. My farming reforms have been a spectacular success - no other country in the world has been able to turn thriving farms into barren wasteland with such speed and efficiency. We are one of the greenest countries in Africa, mainly because we can't afford those dreadful pollutants oil, petrol, electricity and gas.
"We have a thriving democracy here where everything I say goes, including Mr Morgan Tsvangirai - or at least he certainly will do if he dares come back to Zimbabwe, causing trouble and expecting to become president just because he got more votes than me. The cheek of it."
