John Lennon to be stuffed for Beatles Themepark
LIVERPOOL- As a part of Liverpool's ongoing city of culture celebrations, the organisers have named the centrepiece to the Beatles theme park to be finished later this month: the stuffed body of the late John Lennon.
Read full storyEveryone Flunks ESPN's Bracketology 101 As All #1 Seeds Make Final Four
It should happen on a regular basis. You'd have bet money that it had happened within the past five years. You'd have bet your car that it had happened more than once. Your house might even be on the line to bet that it happened at least on...
Read full storyMadonna behind secret £50 million Topcrack Mansion purchase for Britney
London - (Real Estate Mess): Madonna has emerged as the shadowy secret wheeler-dealer behind Hampstead Garden Suburb's £50 million price tag gin palace, Topcrack Mansion.
Read full storyHillary Clinton To Take New Residence To Increase Votes
(The following is a conversation between Hillary Clinton and a couple of friends when she thought that no one was recording or reporting. Unfortunately for her, in these days of cell phones and I-pods and Rodney King, everything is recorded.) Unknown: "So I hear that you won Texas barely but only because you won El Paso by over 2 to 1?" Hillary: "That was my strategy. I made a stop there...
Read full storyNew evidence lambastes human reproduction with theory of "storkism"
In reality, many of the world's leading scientists are in favor of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is to be taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth.
Read full storyRoddick lays on the hetero topspin with topless bikini model engagement spoof
Tampax, Florida - (Ass Mess): World tennis No 6 seed Andy Roddick has stunned friend and family alike by announcing his engagement to topless bikini model Hooklyn Dicker (sic).
Read full storyBarack Obama's White grandma says she felt fearful of Black people, especially in the church parking lot after a Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. racial harmony sermon
Washington, DC - Just after Obama's spin doctors thought the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. firestorm of controversy was behind them comes on the heals of Obama's infamous speech on the state of race relations in America today, a speech compared to...
Read full storyUFO Press Conference - What We DON'T Know
Washington - As this story continues to unfold, there is an ever increasing amount of suspicion aimed at the Federal government, military and intelligence agencies. While most are over joyed with the continuous outpour of seemingly endless informati...
Read full storyOrlando Bloom Saddened By Disloyal Fans
"I am so going to be a Bugaloo!" - That's the message Orlando Bloom wants his fans to hear.
Read full storyTom Cruise Buys Oprah Couch
Tom Cruise has bought at auction the couch made infamous from his jumping escapades while appearing on the Oprah Winfrey show.
Read full storyHilary Clinton announces plan to pimp Chelsea
Hilary Clinton announced today that her brain-trust has almost finalized a plan to turn out Chelsea Clinton. "Chelsea will be the next Ashley Alexandra Duprie!" crowed an obviously pleased Hilary.
Read full storyHilton, Lohan, Spears Apologize, Retire
Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and Britney Spears today apologized to the American people for being celebrities for no apparent reason.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Ball-Sacker
In an effort to reassure the American Public that the nation is in good hands, the White House is now beginning to publicize the fact that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are avid Ball-sackers.
Read full storyMagic Harry's Mushroom Farm
Earlier today a dog walker, walking her dog in Farnham near the Harry Potter film set stumbled upon something very unexpected. She discovered the famous actor's very own psilocybin farm (commonly known as magic mushrooms)...
Read full story1000 years on: stones righted in Stonehenge; Stones welcomed in Blackpool
Construction finally resumes on Stonehenge after a delay of more than a millennium, nearly as long as The Rolling Stones have waited to return to Blackpool.
Read full storySummer Safety Tips
We're approaching another summer season, and the North American Safety Council has issued their annual warm weather safety tips to help us all have a fun and safe summer. Feel free to pass these along to your friends:...
Read full storyTriangle Hero II released
Sales of Guitar Hero, the computer game that costs more than the instrument itself has launched a new rival in the games market.
Read full storyNew research on ultra soft synthetic rubber
BMW has been working since 2004 on a new form of ultra soft synthetic rubber to
Read full storyPairs of prawns team up to solve problems
Pairs of prawns can co-operate to solve problems, scientists report.
Read full storyTabloid smear campaign says maths prodigy is hooker
London - (Ass Mess): An Oxford Unversity maths prodigy is being smeared by UK tabloids as a £130 per hour hooker according to reports.
Read full storyGMC asks if quack MMR doctor and Kate McCann were once an item
London - (Ass Mess): A hearing into the gross professional misconduct of MMR quack Dr Andrew Wakefield has asked about his personal links to Rothley GP Kate McCann.
Read full storySo?
In ancient Greece, people used to gather at a meeting place called Assembly where the citizens of Athens on a monthly basis discussed the affairs of state. The Greek government made no decisions without first asking the Assembly. This was called democracy.
Read full storyMotorists to become biofuel
With the recent spate of government legislation aimed at innocent hardworking motorists, TheSpoof.com has uncovered top secret plans to turn motorists into fuel. Utilising a Roman method of execution, "Decimation" is to be implemented on the roads...
Read full storyNo evidence Diana was drunk coroner says
London - (Ass Mess): Diana was no drunk, Lord Justice Scott Baker ruled today. And although her judgement was clearly flaky about shagging so many desperate no-hoper wannabes this could easily be explained by the laws of natural attraction between m...
Read full storyBritish Cycling At Its Strongest For Years, Says Boardman
Great Britain's cyclists delivered an awesome series of performances at the Track Cycling World Championships, and have put the nation at the forefront of world cycling, according to former Olympic gold medal winner Chris...
Read full storyZimbabwe Election Results
Zimbabwe Presidential and Legislative election results show an overwheliming victory for the opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) over the former President, dictator, and head of the Zanu-PF party, Dr Robert Mugabe. Dr Mugabe's supporte...
Read full storyDear Ollie, the Ole Marriage Advisor: Is there such a thing as Fuckin' Somnambulism?
Dear Ollie, I originally wrote to Dear Abbey about my savage love dilemma but her answer was pretty lame and then Savage Love picked it up...
Read full storyCoach K refuses to lose
Duke University continued its quest for a fourth men's basketball national championship by advancing to the Final Four after getting crushed by UCLA 189-16 on Saturday. Duke will represent the West Region.
Read full storyFantasy Three Forge on to the Presidency!
Imagination has always been viewed as an asset in leadership. But the fantasy three forging on to the American Presidency may be taking that asset a bit far.
Read full storyHappy Tenth Anniversary, Viagra. Here's Some Wood!
The traditional tenth anniversary present of wood is a fine and appropriate gift for the erectile dysfunction drug , Viagra's 10 year tenure.
Read full storyChicago Police Supt. Det. Dick Simmons Tells Pudgy Police: "Lose LBS or join the Oldies!"
The Chicago police dept has been gorging itself on deep dish pizza, Chicago Dogs and of course lots and lots of Doughnuts. As a result, they have been declared the pudgiest police in the USA. That is, until new Supt. Det. Dick Simmons brought his wor...
Read full storyParis Hilton Lectures on Dickens and Dostoevsky
(Philadelphia PA) Paris Hilton recently gave a lecture at the University of Pennsylvania at Annenburg Hall on her two favorite authors: Charles Dickens and Fyodor Dostoevsky. Ms. Hilton's genius ranks with Newton, Pascal and Einstein. Her I.Q. is...
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