London - (Ass Mess): An Oxford Unversity maths prodigy is being smeared by UK tabloids as a £130 per hour hooker according to reports.
But these are merely the jealous rants of seedy quantum physics genius (sic) Prof Stephen Hawking says the London editor of the LA FagHagSlagMag broadsheet.
Sufiah Yusof was 13 years old when she won a place at Brassnose College to read Maths, Further Maths and Applied Maths, graduating with a First Class degree in 2001.
Since then her family has been embroiled in seedy scandals alleging a monstrous father and Lady Macbeth-like ambitions of her mother.
Meanwhile police in Manchester are keeping mum about reports linking Hawking to the tabloid smears about Sufiah.
"Prof Hawking has a vivid imagination," Sgt Jim Bergerac said today.
"That imagination might just conjure up a picture of a bright and lovely 23 year-old Oxford mathematics graduate as a sex fantasy figure.
"You'll just have to wait and see."
Ashley Dupre is Harvard Visiting Professor of Macroeconomics at the Sorbonne.
