
Katie Price (aka Jordan) to receive Nobel Prize.
Katie Price, formerly the hard-faced glamour model Jordan, has hit back at critics after she was tipped to receive the Nobel Prize for Physics instead of Professor Stephen Hawking.
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Guitar Hero World Tour to include Barack Obama
The long awaited Guitar Hero: World Tour game hits the shelves soon and will surprise users by giving them the option to play as Barack Obama.
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Billions of Dollars Wasted on Aurora Borealis
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The Associated Press posted a story about the Aurora Borealis and the new scientific instruments that they've placed in space to try to determine the cause.
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MG Rover to buy Ford & General Motors
As it seems certain that Ford and General Motors may become bankrupt in the next few months, former bankrupt's MG Rover look certain to buy out the two failing western car manufacturers and move them to China.
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Obama's lead surges to 100%
(NBC) - The No Barack Criticism network (a.k.a. NBC) has released an amazing survey. According to the NBC survey Barack Obama has now opened a 100-0 lead over John McCain. When asked about this turn of events Barack Obama replied "really? Even m...
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Curse of Gorgon Brown will smite Obama soothsayers predict
London - (StupidLittlePosturingWindbagMess): Just hours ahead of his Downing Street photo-op meeting with UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown tomorrow US presidential wannabe Barack Obama's tarot cards predict hell.
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Bin Laden head-shaving frenzy in Hoxton - A Cry for Help?
Only days after revelations of Radavan Karadzic's 13 years disguised as a hairy alternative health practitioner, another of the world's most wanted has come out of hiding to make a spectacular appearance at a Ladies Hair Salon in Hoxton, Nort...
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John McCain Gives Thumbs Up To Miley Cyrus' "Breakout"
(Knoxville-TN) Republican Presidential nominee John McCain made what some think is his most telling statement to capture the young vote. It regarded the star of Disney's mega-popular "Hannah Montana" TV franchise, Miley...
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McCouric Renews McCain Contract on McCBS
Washington, DC - Katie McCouric announced today a renewal of her contract with the McCain campaign.
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UFO that destroyed Rev Sun Myung Moon's chopper blamed for Quaintarse jumbo prang
Manila, Philippines - (Extraterrestrial Mess): Aviation inspectors are probing reports that a menacing UFO which destroyed the Rev Sun Myung Moon's helicopter last weekend has struck again causing a giant hole in the fuselage of a Melbourne bound...
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Pedicurist's Piranhas Chew Off Clients' Feet
A disgruntled pedicurist substituted carnivorous Brazilian piranhas for trendy, callous-chomping carp at a fashionable New York City spa resulting in the chewing up of twenty-one toes, five heels, and three bunions of the spa's well-to-do clients...
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Man allowed to keep lottery ticket he found in street
Matthew Streetwalker, a retired florist from Stretford in Manchester was thrilled with the news that the police and the Camelot lottery people have allowed him to keep the lottery ticket he found at his local bus station earlier today.
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Green Tory Sees Red and Turns Air Blue Over Brown
When Tory Leader David Cameron discovered his bike had been stolen from outside his local Supermarket his reaction was shocking even to the most hardened of journalists.
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Sam Diego Declares Banking Crisis Over, Creates Mortgage Sanctuary for Deadbeats and Politicians
San Diego,Ca./Reuters - City Attorney Michael Aquirre announced plans today to designate this coastal city as an official Mortgage Foreclosure Sanctuary, and declared the national financial crisis over. The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose 2500...
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Qantas Jet Was Pregnant With Alien
A Qantas passenger plane en route from London to Melbourne had to make an emergency landing in the Philippines after a large hole appeared in its fuselage, and an alien spacecraft popped out.
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Qantas plane damage culprit found
Engineers believe they have isolated the problem which caused a Qantas Boeing 747-400 to make an emergency landing due to a large hole appearing in the fuselage.
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Invisibe Bra Fence
From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats and dogs, now comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your teenage daughter!...
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More Shocks and Awe From Oldest Biblical Manuscript: Sinaiiticus Surprises Galore!
The oldest Biblical manuscript now available online for the every day believer, agnostic and godless dolt continues to deliver surprises. Who knew that there were three Noah stories and that ancient weathermen failed to predict rain in two of the thr...
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Obamarama: Barack Rocks the House In Germany to Massive Crowds
Before the largest crowd yet of his Change Your Socks World Tour, Democratic presidential contender and hard rocker Barack Obama delivered a dynamic performance at Berlin's Victory Column stadium last night, leaving deli...
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Obama Tells Israelis and Palestinians: "You have my complete support!"
Barack Obama has been glad handing his way across the Middle East telling every one who would listen whatever they want to hear. He told a camel driver in Damascus that he would consider him for Secretary of Transportation.
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Wilfred Brimley to Play McCain at Convention
Hollywood - Actor Wilfred Brimley has been chosen to play John McCain at the Republican National Convention.
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McCain, Father of the Surge, Upstaged By Obama's Surge Homeward!
Elder elder, John McCain has been seen wandering around campaign headquarters mumbling the words surge, surge , surge over and over again. In a recent speech to seventeen WWI veterans, he recounted how he had told Washington while crossing the Delawa...
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A Chicken has crossed a road
In an amazing feet of strength and agility a Chicken crossed a road in Bavaria Today, provoking philosophical questions and debate. Yes, folks, its the age old question of Why did the Chicken cross the road and today in modern times we have opportun...
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Dispossessed Americans Strike It Rich! 70 Cents per Hour Minimum Wage Raise!
Dispossessed and now homeless Americans are jumping for joy over their 70 cents per hour minimum wage raise! The $5.60 extra after 8 hours of work in the salt mines allowed Hobo Joe to buy his family of four a loaf of bread, a stick of butter and a c...
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Ordinary Crime: US Cities Unfunded War on Terror!
Landlocked US cities have anti-terrorist submarines and crack scuba teams. Cities without airports have state of the art airport security systems. The Office of Homeland Security is America's rich uncle for often useless anti-terrorist measures.
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US of A Arms Pakistan and Enemy India for Next Decades Wars!
Like a tireless fight promoter, the Bush Administration has been feverishly involved in setting up the next decade's war between Pakistan and India. Bush has cut India in on a deal for Nukes even as he attacks Iran for its suspected nuclear ambit...
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Inventor of Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb Admits 'Just Messing with my Boss'
US and A - The inventor of the compact flourescent lightbulb (CFL) that has been around since 1976, admitted this week that he was simply trying to make his boss look like a 'schmuck' when he came up with the idea of a spiral-shaped lightbulb...
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Algerian Immigrants Return To Algeria From UK
In Oran harbour this morning a boat with almost two hundred people arrived back from Great Britain. The people on the boat said they had been in Britain for only three weeks but they couldn't stay there any longer.
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Robert Novak takes out one liberal with his Corvette
Conservative columnist Robert Novak has taken the notion of politics as contact sport to new lengths today when he splayed a pedestrian onto his windshield and continued driving down the street. Upon being accosted by a witness, Mr. Novak indicated t...
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Barack Obama Gets Shouted In Berlin
The US hopeful- President candidate Barack Obama has been shouted by a crowd of German people in Berlin when he tried to speak to them today. He wanted to deliver them a speech but the angry crowd just wouldn't stop screaming and shouting for him...
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