Societe Generale's Jérôme Kerviel Gives His Side of the Story
Jérôme Kerviel, incensed for what he termed "over reactions" by Societe Generale, said "what I did while performing my fiduciary obligations were financial strategies that were approved prior to their implementation by my superiors at...
Read full story007 to be carbon neutral in new film
The new Bond film is breaking new ground in many ways. Not content with making Bond gay, the producers have made another important change to 007's behaviour - h...
Read full storyNew Bin Laden Tape Found Showing Planning of 9/11 Attacks
An anonymous source at the Al Jazzeria Network has leaked an audio recording of a meeting between Osama bin Laden and his accomplices, showing them planning the 9-11 attacks. A transcript follows. [note: the CIA cannot currently verify the authenticity of the tapes, but will do so when it's clear the public is going to fall for it.]...
Read full storyBoth Huckabee and Romney Come to Blows over Jobs
In what can only be described as Jethro Bodine (The Beverly Hillbillies) meets Felix Unger (TV's Odd Couple), Republican Presidential Candidates Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney angrily squared off today near Naples, Florida.
Read full storyParis Hilton Reveals Bush, as Egyptians Attempt to Plug Hole
RAFAH, Gaza Strip (Reuters) - Paris Hilton's visit to the region culminated in a frenzy of Palestinian interest as she revealed her bush to startled crowds. Thousands rushed towards the gaping hole, as Egyptian troops shot high into the air, and...
Read full storyJohn Travolta To Be Honored At 'Cheap Son of a Bitch' Banquet
DETROIT, MICHIGAN - Tight wads unite! John Travolta is taking reign as the cheapest son of bitch for 2008 and they are recognizing his contributions at a cheap convention to be held at a very cheap banquet hall located in Detroit, Michigan.
Read full storyBritney Spears Denies Having Seminal Moments with Her Angina
Despite various unconfirmed press reports that famous celebrity Britney Spears had suffered from heart palpitations and various other symptoms associated with her reoccurring angina.
Read full storyRingo Starr: The day the music died
Ringo Starr reminded everyone Thursday night why the Beatles never let their drummer near a microphone.
Read full storySuper Tuesday Quits Just-Us League
At a press conference in the Fortress of Conventional Wisdom, Super Tuesday angrily denounced the issue-oriented villans who threatened the American Way of picking candidates.
Read full storyManchester United Owner To Make Bid For Liverpool
Malcolm Glazer, the billionaire owner of Manchester United, has indicated that he is ready to make a surprise bid for Premiership also-rans Liverpool, and expects to do so by next Tuesday.
Read full storyBritney vagina transplant to erase fools' memory syndrome
Los Angeles - (Reuters & Bad Ass Mess): Singer Britney Spears is to get a new snatch.
Read full storyShares in Golden Nuggets Increase Tenfold
Now is a good time to invest in Nestle and in particular their brand of intensely sweet golden cereal 'Golden Nuggets'.
Read full storyRogue trader's $7 billion scam linked to Corrupt Bastards and Prince Jefri Archer of Brunei
Paris - (Formidable Mess): The French banking scandal involving a $7 billion betting fiasco at SocGen Bank has been linked by police to an audacious $25 billion heist conducted by Brunei's Prince Jefri Archer last year.
Read full storyRoddick miffed by 'sub-prime' Federer jibe
Flushing Meadows - (Grand Slam Mess): US Tennis number three seed Andy Roddick hit back at Australian Men's Open slurs that he has become a 'sub-prime liability' to his financial sponsors American Excess.
Read full storyCoroner orders bulldozers into Kensington Palace amid dead princes claims
London - (Reuters & Sad Ass Mess): Lord Justice Scott Baker has ordered the immediate bulldozing of royal gardens at Kensington Palace after hearing evidence that Diana's sons were murdered by Charles and replaced with impostors related to Tony B...
Read full storyEd-E-torial 20: Lindsay Lohan Terror Alert! Michael Vick Hires Karl Rove.
(Greenwich-England) As of 2009, Greenwich Mean Time will be changed to a new, more accurate standard ...Flava Flav Time. Peace out...
Read full storyCold War Soviet Spy Blunt Shagged Queen Mum and Hitler's Daughter
London - (Reuterus & Bad Ass Mess): Disgraced British traitor Sir Anthony Blunt (sic) regularly serviced the rapacious greed of the woman hired to impersonate Queen Elizabeth, wife of King George V1, following the real royal couple's death in a L...
Read full storyFrenchman Blamed for Absolutely Everything
European and Asian stocks have risen after French bank Societe De Robespiere admitted that Frenchman Monsieur Le Grande Theft Auto, 19, had lost tens of billions of euros playing the French version of Deal Or No Deal.
Read full storyRogue $7 billion trader is Tom Cruise son claim colleagues
Paris, France - (Audacious Mess): The rogue trader who notched up record-breaking $7 billion losses may be the natural son of Scientology movie actor Tom Cruise.
Read full storyPeter Hain Awarded New Post in the Department for Misplaced Confidence
Peter Hain, the disgraced former Secretary for Work & Pensions, and for Wales, is no longer a disgrace, according to PM Gordon Brown, and has been selected for a post at the new Department fo...
Read full storyNew APA warning label: May Contain Clowns
Based on results from researchers in England, the American Psychological Association (APA) is advocating a new warning label for clowns.
Read full storyFederer: "Djokovic easily tossed aside in three straight sets"
Melbourne, Australia - (Walkover Mess): "I'm thinkng six love, six-love, six-love for Friday evening's exhibition masterclass," Roger Federer predicted about his Australian Open semi-finals match against shit-hot Croatian wonderboy...
Read full storyStrange 'German Accent' Affliction Strikes Film Stars
A strange new disease is sweeping through acting circles, causing stars from all over the globe to speak in stereotypical German accents. The mysterious illness, known as Vott Haff Ve Here? Syndrome, was first observed in Hollywood, immediately follo...
Read full storyBrazilian PM Ernesto de Morais Condemns US Genocide, Hypocrisy
In a speech to the Brazilian Parliament today, Prime Minister Ernesto de Morais condemned what he termed as the "massive genocide that has been going on in the USA since the 1970's."...
Read full storyScandalous Behaviour at Wijk aan Zee
Rijk aan Zee - Tempers frayed at the beginning of the 8th round of the Corus Chess championships here at Wijk an See, as the British contender Short appealed to the arbiter for a win against the reigning champion Fischer, who refused...
Read full storyWar in Iraq to be Stopped by Anime Demonstration of the Value of Love
The makers of O-Bishojo, an anime cartoon show about upper-class British girls at a private school, have announced plans to bring the war in Iraq to an end by showing the next episode of their cartoon to President Bush and touring the nation...
Read full storyCalifornia Supreme Court 5-2 ruling against workers using medical marijuana leads to mandatory drug testing for comedy writers at TheSpoof.com
Sacramento, California - The California Supreme Court in 5-2 ruling, denying workplace protection for marijuana use by employees even if prescribed by a doctor for a medical condition, has an immediate impact and far reaching effects at TheSpoof.com...
Read full story