GOP candidate wrap-up
Time for a recap of the GOP candidates and the political space they occupy:...
Read full storyThe 21 First Centry High School Musical 3
Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez are know as good students - they don't drink, don't do drugs, but that's all going to change in High School Musical 3 - The Teenage Years. The plot is Troy and Gabriella try drugs for the first time and they get ad...
Read full storyTiger Talked Before Attacking its Victims
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- One of the three victims of an attack by a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas Day admitted that the three yelled and taunted the tiger by standing on a rail a few feet from the tiger moat.
Read full storyIs Zac Efron going punk?
High School Muscical's Heartthrob, Zac Efron was spotted at a LA tattoo parlour. The tattoo parlour, "Old Skool Tattoos" was open just for Efron.
Read full storyStudy Concludes Footballers Actually Quite Clever
Football has been rocked by a new scandal after it was revealed that some players were actually quite clever. A number of high profile premiership stars have been taking lessons in subjects that have nothing to do with sport, playstations, alcohol or...
Read full storyCrash-land pilot praises screw
Heathrow Airport - (Belly-Flop Mess): In a vindication of the Mile High Club's code of conduct the pilot of the belly-flopping Boeing 777 that crash-landed at Heathrow Airport yesterday praised his co-pilot's performance in the cockpit.
Read full storyObama ID fraud: Hillary and Colon Bowel are birth parents
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus): Barack Obama is feeling the noose tighten around his DNA as NATO Military Intelligence files threaten to expose him as a total ID fraud spawned from the frightening union of Hillary Clitoris and General Colon Bowel.
Read full storySixteen Plus Students to Have Qualifications Delivered
In a new twist to the debate on post sixteen education, students are to have diplomas and certificates delivered to their homes.
Read full storyChinese Year of the Rat: Beijing jitters over Gorgon Brown
Beijing - (Worse Ass Mess): Chinese officials gave UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown a tepid welcome today after state astrologers warned his pre-Year of the Rat visit bodes ill for a massive fraud he committed along with Tony Blair and George W Bush on...
Read full storyCrash Pilot Was 'On the loo'
A British Airways jet that crash landed at Heathrow was being controlled by a small child, 6 year old Jimmy Feckless, it has been revealed.
Read full storyBush Proposes Self-Stimulus Plan
Crawford, TX - Amid rising cries that he has screwed over the American people, George W Bush today proposed that the American taxpayer screw itself.
Read full storyKevin Keegan Saves Bus Load of Children
In a horrific incident in the centre of possibly the greatest city in the whole world, Newcastle upon Tyne, a bus load of young children from a nursery school just east of Heaton Manor, overturned and burst into flames. At least fifteen children age...
Read full storyEngland Football Manager Fabio Capello Arrested for Racketeering and Tax Evasion
Fabio Capello the son of a leading member of the notorious Sicilian Mafia is currently on bail after being held at a Prison in Turin for Match Fixing, Drug Distribution and for not declaring to the Italian Customs a sum of at least £10.5 million.
Read full storyFEMA Training Staff for Earth Ending Asteroid Impact
Today officials with the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) announced that within ten years they will have trained significant numbers of personnel in responding to an asteroid impact that would effectively end life on earth.
Read full storySemi-erect Castro to sugarcoat problems, again
Word leaked out of Cuba on Friday that Fidel Castro will make his State of the Dictatorship address as soon as his shipment of Depends diapers arrives from the United States.
Read full storyLohan sentenced to swabbing morgue corpses
California - (DUI Mess): The community service part of Lindsay Lohan's DUI sentence begins next week and will see the Mean Girls star work two days a week swabbing down corpses at the LA District Morgue.
Read full storyBritney Spears Invites Hollywood Starlets to Latest Party
Britney Spears is having a party in her home. Little sister Jamie will be there. Paris and Nicole will be there. Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera will be there. All of the Hollywood starlets, royalty, and pop tarts will be there. There will,...
Read full storyHero BA Pilot Removed Flying Helmet and Finished Cup of Tea
The British Airways pilot who saved the lives of 151 crew by bouncing his 150,000 ton Boeing 777 over Heathrow's perimeter fence, adjusted his cravat, finished his cup of tea and ejaculated, "Dashed bumpy landing there, what...
Read full storyMiddle School Science teacher designs curriculum around fire and flatulence
Middle school Science teacher, Pandora Boxer has her 8th grade student's undivided attention. Reports say this unconventional, veteran teacher has tapped into her student's natural proclivity to burn things and fart. "They love these two activiti...
Read full storyBritains Worst Paedophile Released Again in Second Blunder
Britain's most wanted paedophile, arrested yesterday In Hove, has once again been released in error by police in what is being described as the second worst blunder in police history.
Read full storyBA Confirm Heathrow Weather to Blame for Boeing Crash
A spokesman for British Airways today confirmed that the recent atrocious weather was entirely to blame for yesterdays dramatic crash landing at Heathrow involving 136 passengers.
Read full storyBritney Spears has Fanny Magnets Grafted in to Attract Papparazzi
Crumbling former teen pop songstress Britney Spears is reported to be so concerned with the sudden lack of press coverage she is receiving that she has reportedly turned to plastic surgery to enhance her chances of being snapped.
Read full storySilverback gorillas to be trained to help capuchin monkeys render living assistance to the physically challenged
London, England - Everyone is familiar with the cute and adorable capuchin monkeys that are used to render living assistance physically challenged people. Helping them maintain their dignity through independence. The coupling of primates with humans...
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