Study Concludes Footballers Actually Quite Clever

Funny story written by Everyman

Friday, 18 January 2008

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Some footballers might have to face the shame of being clever

Football has been rocked by a new scandal after it was revealed that some players were actually quite clever. A number of high profile premiership stars have been taking lessons in subjects that have nothing to do with sport, playstations, alcohol or women. The allegations are that some footballers may be interested in areas such as literature, European film (with subtitles) and History.

Clearly such revelations could be immensely damaging to the image of sports stars who pride themselves on maintaining an image of hard drinking, hard drugs and being, well, hard.

Of course statistically, a certain proportion of football players must be clever. Arsene Wenger, who has long been suspected of being clever himself, said: "It is impossible that in a football league of nearly 100 clubs, meaning a squad contingent of over 2,000 people that there aren't some clever people. It is just that it is a big taboo for them to admit that they are brainy"

Separately, there were claims that lots of footballers were gay - but that was dismissed as just rubbish by everyone.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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