Heather Mills McCartney Case Award Thrown Out
London, England (IP) - A divorce magistrate has tossed out the settlement that Heather Mills originally won in her gold digging case against Paul McCartney.
Read full storyFurther Excellent ways for rich, stupid people to waste their money
The ACME Custard and Blood Extractor...
Read full storyHannah Montana headed for rehab
It seems the father of Hannah Montana has his head firmly screwed on. Billy Ray Cyrus announced this morning that his daughter Miley, who plays the Disney character Hannah Montana will go into rehab next week for a short stay. After completing rehab...
Read full storyWhite Supremacist Group to allow members of Mixed Heritage
In a sharply divided vote, Aryan Nation, a formerly all-white supremacist group, voted today to allow "light skinned negroes" and those of mixed heritage to join its organization. They will also be allowing Jews who have converted to Chris...
Read full storyElaine Marshall suspected in Anna Nicole death probe? Birkhead demands answers
California - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Elaine Marshall, the former daughter-in-law of Anna Nicole Smith's late octogenarian husband J Howard Marshall II, is being linked to a series of California authorities' raids connected to the former stripp...
Read full storyEagles' Avian Flu Charity Halloween Gig
O2 Arena - (Trick-or-Treat Mess): A secretive, dedicated bird flu-combating entrepreneur is believed to be behind classic 70s rock band The Eagles' performance of a rare one-off private gig.
Read full storyPope suspends gay monsignor
Vatican Shitty - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The Pope has suspended a high-ranking gay Catholic priest from the cross.
Read full storyThigh King Bum-i-Boil feeling week
Bang Cock, Thighland - (Ass Mess & Reuterus): King Bum-i-Boil thigh-feeling week has ended arse-over-tit with the 79 year-old supreme majesty confined to a padded cell after scans finally revealed a lifetime's inadequate blood supply to the brain...
Read full storyWalk For Cure Leads To Cure
It was just another Walk for the Cure, hundreds of good folks raising money for Kidney Disease research on a bright fall morning. No one could have predicted that this time, the "Walk for the Cure" would actually lead to a cure for one of...
Read full storyNarnia News - Aslan quits his job.
The Great Lion, Aslan, finally called it a day this week. The creator of Narnia, and Lord of several other fantasy worlds has quit his role as ruler of all talking beasts.
Read full storyComputer Virus Result of Corrupt Republican Search
Washington (IP) - Computer users have complained to Congress that when they enter "list of corrupt republicans" into a search engine that their computers are automatically sent a virus which wipes out their hard drive.
Read full storyLarry Craig Featured on New Three Dollar Bill
Denver, Colorado (IP) - Officials at the Denver mint have announced that Larry Craig will be pictured on the new Three-dollar bill that will be issued this week.
Read full storyBritney Spears Diagnosed With New Medical Condition
It has been confirmed by a leading US medical expert, that Britney Spears, the former pop star, has a serious medical condition which prevents her from removing her sunglasses.
Read full storyBritney Spears Awarded Custody Of Two Plastic Dolls To Prove 'Mother-Worth'
Britney Spears, the troubled pop star, has been given custody of two plastic baby dolls, so that authorities can ascertain whether or not she is capable of spending time safely with her children agai...
Read full storyEngland v France - Pre-Match Assessment
Stade de France, Paris - England coach Brian Ashton has told the French team to not even bother turning up for this evening's Rugby World Cup Semi-Final, 'if they know what's good for them.'...
Read full storyPost Office Union Officials Strike Over Strike Action
Officials of the Post Office's Communication Workers Union are up in arms about the recently agreed deal with Management and are planning to show their dismay with senior union officials by walking out on all union activi...
Read full storyAvril Lavigne tells Bush: I don't like your girlfriend
Avril Lavigne has sensationally revealed that she has a crush on Dubya, and it doesn't end there.
Read full storySpace Station Gets Vending Machines Causing Strike
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Astronauts walked off the job today and set up a picket line to protest the new food vending machines installed aboard the International Space Station (ISS).
Read full storyBottom Fergus Out 'Ranks' Other idiots
For millions of days 'sarcasm' has been seen as the lowest form of wit but an un-shocking new surveyette released today ranks potato-farming literamous Fergus McSpredder as the nation's least funny form. Fungus narrowly snatched defeat fr...
Read full storyNobel Peace Prize Distributed In Cereal Boxes
Geneva (IP) - The Nobel Peace Prize is being given to so many folks these days that it has been decided to issue them via cereal boxes.
Read full storyVagina On Coulter Doll Causing A Stink
Deke Skeever, owner of an adult toy/erotic goods store in San Francisco called The Pansy's Saddle has had a series of complaints and possible lawsuits lobbed his way this past week because of a product he sells - an inflatable sex toy designed to...
Read full storyBill O'Reilly Revels in Never Washing Hands After Crapping
Inflammatory Fox radio and television pundit Bill O'Reilly made it clear in no uncertain terms that he seldom, if ever, washes his hands after taking a dump. The loofah-loving right winger claims that such sanitary impulses bespeak an unmanly adm...
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