Space Station Gets Vending Machines Causing Strike

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Saturday, 13 October 2007

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Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - Astronauts walked off the job today and set up a picket line to protest the new food vending machines installed aboard the International Space Station (ISS).

The new machines take five dollar bills only because the weight of carrying coins into orbit makes their use prohibitive.

One astronaut who wishes to remain anonymous complains that there is no way to tilt the machines in an effort to rip them off because of weightless conditions.

Other astronauts have complained about the limited menu available in the machines. That menu is limited to spam sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly, and fish sticks. The fish sticks really stink up the space station when placed in the space station's microwave. Even the microwave requires the deposit of a dollar bill into the machine before it will heat anything.

The machines were installed aboard the station last week and are owned by Acme Vending, Inc. NASA has allowed Acme personnel to search the astronauts before they board the shuttle to make sure no one is sneaking food into the ISS.

Last year an astronaut strike was narrowly averted when Acme agreed not to raise the price of cigarettes in their ISS cigarette machines beyond the five dollar mark.

Acme has asked NASA to allow them to set up pay toilets in the ISS bathroom. They already have condom machines in the bathroom but everyone is used to that concept. One astronaut said, "you can choose not to have sex on the ISS but there is no choice when it comes to using the bathroom".

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