Britney Spears' New Fragrance Reeks of "Shame"
Los Angeles, California - In the wake of her dissolved marriage, her mandatory court-sanctioned parenting class attendance, and alleged food and drug addiction, Britney Spears' organization has announced the release of a new fragrance br...
Read full storyChina Executes Number 24
China has bowed to pressure from Wal-Mart and executed number 24. The unprecedented action taken by the Chinese authorities has brought down world wide condemnation on the communist state.
Read full storyGarry Kasparov has tested positive for Steroid use
Russian Grandmaster and former World Chess Champion and all round nice guy, Garry Kasparov has tested positive for steroids. Kasparov has been doing some serious training since he challenged Vladimir Putin to a chess duel for the Premiership of Russi...
Read full storyWorlds oldest Playboy Model poses one time too many
86 year old Playboy Bunny, Betty Bingleton, did her back in yesterday while posing for the Halloween special edition of the world famous dirty old man magazine.
Read full storyIranian Leaders Secret Revealed
In an exclusive interview by Hartford Advocate reporter Rory Gilmore, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad lamented "I wanted to be the seventh Brady kid but they brought in that stupid Cousin Oliver. He can't even sing or dance as well as...
Read full storyThe knights who say "Shibboleth"
The Tate Modern in London is displaying a new installation comprising of an enormous crack in the floor of the Turbine hall.
Read full story'Reckless' cocaine habit killed depraved count (sic), coroner rules
London - (Narcotic Mess): A depraved and reckless German aristocratic count (sic) died from a massive cocaine overdose according to a London coroner's inquest today.
Read full storyD.I.Why Not
Overly-homosexual Irish innuendo peddler Graham Norton is releasing his own range of gay-friendly DIY products. The bum-loving leprechaun expects his 'Poof's Powertools' to hit (and fix) shelves in time for the inevitable sludgy torrent t...
Read full storyNation on Red Alert as Sutherland is Jailed
The news that TV hard man Kiefer Sutherland has been jailed for drink-driving has shocked America and buoyed terrorist organisations the world over.
Read full storyPost Office Strike causes havoc
The future of the Royal Mail is in jeopardy as it reaches "the tiny bit uncomfortable" point in its dispute with workers, a senior stamp licker has warned.
Read full storyBBC's Fincham red card booting prompts Prince Charles aritifical insemination reports probe
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Police are probing reports that ex-BBC One chief Peter Fincham knew one of his news-reading staff had used artificial insemination to spawn a daughter by the Pretender to the Throne some 25 years ago.
Read full storyForged disabled parking permits nailed Matthew Mellon hacking gang
Southwark Crown Court - (Conspiracy Mess): Two bent ex-Met cops working on espionage assignments for US banking and oil heir Matthew Mellon were nailed for a multi-million fraud scam today.
Read full storyTranny from the Block
Flabby-arsed Latino pop tart and part-time movie ruiner Jeniffer 'Love' Lopez was formerly an insurance clerk called Raymond Stuge it was revealed today.
Read full storyImmigration Officials Forcing Drugs on Deportees
Washington (IP) - The ACLU is filing a law suit against the US government for forcing deportees to take drugs.
Read full storyYankees Replace Coach Joe Torres with Fidel Castro
New York, New York (IP) - The Yankess have replaced coach Joe Torres with Fidel Castro. Castro recently asked for political asylum during a trip to the United Nations.
Read full storyPaddington Bear - My Life
Paddington Bear, the bear who is now the face of Marmite, tells the Sun his heart wrenching rags to riches story.
Read full storyFather Christmas voted most unbelievable fictional character
A recent poll, dreamt up by TV Pundits with no good ideas of their own has revealed that amongst the British public, Father Christmas is the most unbelievable of all fictional characters. He tops a poll that is made up by Satan, Jesus Christ, David B...
Read full storyEnid Blyton says 'Get with reading kids'
Dead Children's Author, Enid Blyton is to front the Government's new reading initiative - called 'Get with reading, Kids'. In an attempt to seem cool, cutting edge, and street, the government is using the type of language that has not...
Read full storySuper Size Me? HELL YA!
(Sacramento, Calif)- Remember the ground breaking documentary where Morgan Spurlock tried to eat nothing but McDonald's for 30 straight days? Me too, is that guy the biggest dumbfuck or what?...
Read full storySuicide Bomber Was Mistaken For An Electrician, Jury Told
Hussein Osman, the man police were looking for when they accidentally shot to pieces Jean Charles de Menezes on a London Tube train, was, himself, the victim of mistaken identity, it has been claimed...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden Renounces Terrorism, Islam, Hatred Of West
Osama Bin Laden, the world's most wanted man, has renounced terrorism, his hatred of the West and, most importantly, Islam itself in a newly-released video.
Read full storyMasturbation Breakthrough Leads to Nobel Prize
A British scientist whose pioneering research led to the creation of a technique that enables gene "masturbation" was awarded a Nobel prize yesterday.
Read full storyI'm a Celebrity! Line-up Revealed
The Spoof (unofficial website of I'm a Celebrity!) can today reveal the line-up of the new series hitting your Gogglebox this coming winter.
Read full storyThe American Revolutionary War: How It Began
Matty J Rad presents: A spoof of the American Revolutionary War: How it began.
Read full storyElisha Cuthbert Accused of Telephone Harassment
Hollywood, California (IP) - Elisha Cuthbert is famous for her role as Jack Bauer's daughter on the TV series 24. Now she has become famous for chasing after a well known American space scientist named Dr. Povenmire Finootch.
Read full storyRotten Neighbor List Includes 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington DC, (IP) - Rotten neighbor.com lists 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC as a place containing a bad neighbor that lives there in a white house.
Read full storyIsrael Agrees To Relocate All Jews
(Tel Aviv) - Iran president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, an internationally recognized lunatic and loudmouth, yesterday suggested that Israel be given to the Palestinians and all Jews in Israel be relocated to Alaska. Today, Israel countered the suggestion...
Read full storyNursing homes to have more stringent requirements
A spokesman for the North Carolina Nursing Homes Association (NCNHA) said that nursing homes will now require all prospective residents to pass a strength test in order to be admitted. This new requirement is mandatory for all nursing homes in North...
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