Forged disabled parking permits nailed Matthew Mellon hacking gang

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

image for Forged disabled parking permits nailed Matthew Mellon hacking gang
The domino fall started here and ended with Mellon getting left with egg all over his face

Southwark Crown Court - (Conspiracy Mess): Two bent ex-Met cops working on espionage assignments for US banking and oil heir Matthew Mellon were nailed for a multi-million fraud scam today.

They were caught initially after parking their Rollers in the City of London using forged disabled permits.

"Just how dumb can you get?" was the Judge's opening remark today as he sentenced ex-Met officers Jeremy Young and Scott Gelsthorpe to 27 months and 2 years respectively.

"You'd have to ask the ex-Mrs Mellon for an accurate assessment," was the CPS's stoical reply.

Mellon, 39, escaped with a right ticking off after conspiracy charges against him were dropped following a gruelling cross-examination in the witness box earlier this year that saw him branded as a "half-witted tosser."

The Court had heard evidence that Mellon used Young and Gelsthorpe to spy on ex-wife Tamara "because he was paranoid she would grass him up" about murky misdeeds during their acrimonious divorce negotiations.

The two ex-cops had been recommended to him by "a respected (sic) public figure" - believed by some to be Cherie Blair - and for their impressive spying record including attempts to hack into the New York Stock Exchange.

Also jailed with the dastardly duo were accomplices formerly from the Staffordshire constabulary who were convicted on hacking into the UK's police national computer.

John Matthews got 14 months, Anthony Wood 10 months, and Gary Flanagan landed a three-month term.

Two other fellow conspirators also ended up behind bars after the farcical domino-fall's onset in the City of London accredited to a sharp-eyed traffic warden wide-eyed disbelief at the disabled parking permit scam.

At her Belgravia home today Tamara Mellon told the press:

"I guess the intelligence genes in my ex's family tend to skip a generation sometimes."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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