Paddington Bear - My Life

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

image for Paddington Bear - My Life
Not Paddington Bear, but his image is missing from the file, sorry

Paddington Bear, the bear who is now the face of Marmite, tells the Sun his heart wrenching rags to riches story.

Paddington, a bear with only one name, left behind a life of grinding poverty in Darkest Peru, to join the Brown Family, a nondescript family living in an unnamed place, where his scrapes, often involving his beloved Marmalade Sandwiches often got him in trouble with the police.

The Bear told us: 'The documentary I appeared in only showed the lighter, funnier side of my life, it never showed the darker side, never showed my many arrests, my run ins with the local dogs, or time spent in Prison. The other prisoners left me alone, you never really argue with a bear in a confined space, do you?'

Paddington always had the love and support of the Brown Family, and credits them with keeping him sane through his wilderness years, to his commercial rebirth as a face of yeast extract spread, Marmite.

Future plans for Paddington include his full Auto-Biography, with the working title 'From Peru to BBC2', a returning slot as a regular critic/pundit on Late Review, a role in the next James Bond Film, and a starring role in Hell's Kitchen, and Dancing with the Stars. Marmite, you either love it or hate it. Paddington Bear is still to make up his mind on that one.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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