Bush: Oil Industry Needs the Subsidies!
Wall Street, NYC - "Our profits fell below four billion this quarter," Chevron representative Rick James pleads, "which is the first time we've had a drop in earnings in more than 5 years!" Chevron CEO David O'Reilly took...
Read full storyDr. Phil psychoanalyzes kid who started So. California wildfires before a studio audience: arsonist, or just a mischievous 9-year-old boy?
Burbank, California - American's favorite country psychiatrist, Dr. Phil, volunteered to psychoanalyze kid who started Southern California wildfires to determine if he is in fact an arsonist or just a mischievous 9-year-old boy who should not hav...
Read full storyJuilliard and Berkely Music Schools Team Up
Boston, MA (IP) - The Jilliard and Berkeley Music Schools have teamed up and are working on a joint project to build a giant saxophone.
Read full storyHomosexual sighting in Iran "was weather balloon"
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has acted quickly to quell speculation following news that a homosexual was sighted in Tehran, saying that the suspec...
Read full storySen Larry Craig Syndrome Erupts In Daytona Beach Mall Sting
Daytona Beach, Florida - (Ass Mess): An outbreak of Senator Larry Craig syndrome has erupted in Daytona Beach, Florida where an undercover mall bathroom sting has netted a former city commissioner and mayoral candidate along with eight other lewd and...
Read full storyO'Reilly Contract Promises Wardrobe Provided by Indian Slave Children
New York, NY (AP) - Intense negotiations over the contract renewal of Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly wrapped up today after O'Reilly was granted the request that had held up the negotiations; that his wardrobe be exclusively produced by Indian...
Read full storyScientists Find Nougat On Mars
NASA made a dramatic announcement today that may very well prove that we are not alone in the universe.
Read full storyPuppet Queen Mother's bones test positive for DNA match to George Bush Senior
St George's Chapel, Windsor - (Reuterus): Months of covert DNA testing at the National Poisons Unit at Aldermaston has concluded that Ms Violet Freeman, a Stalinist double agent who impersonated the Queen Mother from September 1940 to March 2002,...
Read full storyMet chief: people hate me because of my surname
New Scotland Yard - (Ass Mes): Beleaguered Met police chief Sir Ian Blair has hit back at calls for his resignation and said people want him to quit because they think he's related to ex-Prime Monster Tony Blair.
Read full storyGovt to introduce legislation excusing Ministers from road safety laws
Breaking news: Following the fining of Home Office Minister Liam Byrne for using his mobile phone while driving, the Government has announced that it will introduce new legislation excusing Ministers from road safety laws.
Read full storyState Opening of Parliament Scrapped Amid Guy Fawkes Prophecy Fears
Shitehall, London: (Bonfire Night Mess): Tuesday's State Opening of Parliament has been cancelled after apocryphal soothsayers' documents were found in a Westminster Abbey crypt.
Read full storyAstronaut May Gain Super-Powers
Houston, NASA - Nasa officials are planning a risky spacewalk on Saturday to repair the International Space Station. But they warned the procedure does contain a slight risk of electrocution.
Read full storyPushers Selling Water in Atlanta
Atlanta, Georgia (IP) - TheSpoof.com reporter Antoinette MacRobitussin was sent to do an undercover story about the severe shortage of water being experienced in Atlanta, Georgia as well as all of the southern states.
Read full storyBill Gates Raises a Tantrum
Yes Mr Bill Gates so what if the asians have beaten you this time. You have been on top of the ladder too long, right?! Oh the poor (rich) man must be tired holding on to the ladder all these years.
Read full storySir Ian Blair Finally Does The Right Thing
(Reutar!) The commissioner of the Metropolitan Police Force, Sir Ian Blair, has finally buckled under pressure, and tendered his resignation with immediate effect, claims a source in the pub.
Read full storyCressida Dick Voted 'Most Outrageously Named Copper' Of 2007
Cressida Dick, the high-ranking policewoman who was left in charge of the dimwits who shot innocent Jean Charles de Menezes through his bonce seven times, has been voted the 'Most Outrage...
Read full storyImus is back
The irreverent shock jock, Don Anus will be back again in December airing his new show, "All Things Black and White." Citadel broadcasting which controls WABC (Wasn't Always a Bad Child) plans to syndicate to thousands of radio stations...
Read full storyDog "The Nig__r Hunter" Chapman Caught Using Off Color Comments
The National Enquirer has released audiotapes revealing another side of Duane "Dog" Chapman, The Bounty Hunter. The audiotape reveals Chapman repeatable saying nig__r this and nig__r that, when speaking to his son who is dating a black w...
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