Tear in space station solar panel caused by drunk astronauts; Spears' panties found in space

Funny story written by King David

Friday, 2 November 2007

image for Tear in space station solar panel caused by drunk astronauts; Spears' panties found in space
This astronaut has had too much to drink!

A spacewalking astronaut who had too much to drink at the international space station ripped a hole in a solar panel today as he tripped and floated into the station.

"Astronauts like to drink a lot," said one Discovery crewmember, "After all, they're in the military."

Eyewitnesses say that Buzz Anderson was on a stroll around the station when he lost his balance and floated into the panel tearing it significantly and scratching his space helmet.

NASA engineers were sent photos of the torn panel so they could determine the extent of the damage. It was reported that the astronaut taking photos got too close to the panel and was flipped through space like a pinball as engineers retracted it to ease the pressure.

The astronaut was recovered and is reported in stable condition.

Later in the afternoon as an astronaut left the station to get some fresh air, he found what looked to be the panties of Britney Spears floating in space after the solar panels that fold up like an accordion on a 17½-ton girder belt unfurled. It was thought that the panties had been caught between the panels of the spacecraft during lift off, but NASA (Not Another Sexy American) officials were unsure.

Team headquarters added a day to Discovery's mission so astronauts could determine exactly whose panties they were and how they got hung up on the Shuttle Discovery. Managers canceled a shuttle thermal tile repair to make room for that inspection.

"Astronauts constantly complain that there is really very little to do once you are in space," says NASA command chief Arman Hammer, "so the tendency is to drink and play pranks on fellow crew members to pass the time."

NASA says that it is considering adding a whole new shipment of video games to the station, so the astronauts won't be quite as bored.

The shuttle is scheduled to undock from the space station on Monday and return to Earth on Nov. 7, so that the astronauts can get back to their Playstation 3's on the ground.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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