Sen Larry Craig Syndrome Erupts In Daytona Beach Mall Sting

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 2 November 2007

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Sen Larry Craig Syndrome has spread to Daytona Beach

Daytona Beach, Florida - (Ass Mess): An outbreak of Senator Larry Craig syndrome has erupted in Daytona Beach, Florida where an undercover mall bathroom sting has netted a former city commissioner and mayoral candidate along with eight other lewd and lascivious local perverts.

Mike Swallow - also known as Mike Shallow - was spotted with his accomplices at a Sears bathroom in the Volusia Mall on Thursday 'acting suspiciously.'

The gang included David Berringer, a local health teacher at Seabreeze High School, and two registered sex offenders.

But following a tip-off, officers from Daytona Beach PD pounced after setting up a Larry Craig-style sting op.

All nine were rounded up and thrown into the slammer.

Today Daytona Beach police chief Michael Chitwood told a press conference:

"Can you imagine the depravity? Well, perhaps maybe better not to. But let me fill you in:

"You're out there shopping in the mall with the wife and kids just like any regular law-abiding member of the public.

"Suddenly one of your kid wants to go to the bathroom.

"He thinks the Sears facility is safe and enters innocently.

"Suddenly a bunch of sick, degenerate, vile perverts springs out from the cubicle, frightening the living daylights out of your son.

"Yes, it's former city commissioner and Daytona Beach mayoral candidate Mike Swallow.

"Can ya imagine?"

The police department also issued a statement adding that Port Orange registered sex offender Douglas Benson, 48, had been previously caught masturbating in the restroom of a day care center.

His pal Edgar Millard, 73, Daytona Beach, had been charged in 2006 with sexual misconduct at a beachside bathroom.

Unlike Swallow, neither had attempted to run for pubic office, however.

"Scumbags like these are a blight on democracy and on our community," Chitwood added.

"What scares me is that I almost voted for him."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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