ITN hire new reporter...
The former minister for misinformation of the defeated Iraqi Baath Party, Saeed Al Sahaf, known as "Comical Ali", is not dead at all, and has just been hired by ITN. His reporting was described as "Somewhat dodgy, but as near the truth as we can get it." according to ITN bosses.
Read full storyMoving Out of Iraq Sale -- Everything Must Go!
Huge moving out sale. Monday, October 1st. 7:00 am until whenever.
Read full story"Let them drink champagne!" Camilla tells local flood victims
Gloucestershire - (Diabolical Mess): Amid scenes of unprecedented chaos in flood-stricken Gloucestershire, a mass evacuation of 500,000 residents is under way after rapidly diminishing drinking water supplies became contaminated with sewage seeping f...
Read full storyRowling: "The Printed Harry Potter 7's A Fake"
LONDON --- Popular fiction writer J.K. Rowling, known for her epic "Harry Potter" series, admitted in a press conference today that the printed version of the seventh and final in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, w...
Read full storyIran unveils 'Penis of Allah'
TEHRAN-- Iran's minister of defense is reporting that the Islamic Republic of Iran will soon unveil its new homemade fighter jet known as "Azarakhsh," -- loosely translated as "Penis of Allah". Iranian General Mustafa Najar stated that the govern...
Read full storyPete Doherty offered £2 million for Kate Moss sex tapes
London - (Ass Mess): Near-bankrupt Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has told mates at Camden's Whorely Arms pub - where his unpaid bar tab has now exceeded its statutory £50,000 monthly limit - that he will settle all his debts by the weekend aft...
Read full storyIt's Official: George W. Bush Is A Robot
(Anaheim--CA) Move over former war hero Chief Executives Andrew Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower because George W. Bush will be joining your ranks in Disneyland, California. Ron Van Nessen, head of Disney media relations, made it offici...
Read full storyUgly Geezer Run Out Of Town
Kevin Chops has been run out of his home town for being too damn ugly.
Read full storyPresident Bush Gives Power to His Power
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - President Bush added power to the power to the power that he gave himself by approving new CIA methods Friday.
Read full storyThe History Channel Announces New Sponsor of "Dogfights"
United States television giant, The History Channel, announced today that Michael Vick, quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons and owner of "Bad Newz Kennels" would be their new sponsor and spokesman for their exciting series featuring aerial...
Read full storyPervy Queens lawyer busted with 'anti-masturbation gum' and Alberto Gonzales blow-up doll
New York - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A sting operation on a pervy Queens Legal Aid lawyer, Peter Barta, has stunned New York cops by the amount of 'kinky' material found in his Kew Gardens apartment.
Read full storyCyberkinetics Wants to Make You a Millionaire
Cyberkinetics Brain Systems, Inc. recently announced two exciting events which has driven its stock price soaring.
Read full storyTricky Ricky to Head Up Olympic Dishwashing Team
The winner of the International Championship Hall of Fame Dishwashing Contest has accepted an offer from government officials to train the next Olympic team. You might remember Tricky from the French Dishwashing Open where he overcame tremendous odd...
Read full storySuspicious Package Turns Out to be Dennis Kucinich
NEW YORK (Heewack News Network) -- A bomb squad called to investigate a suspicious package spotted near the New York Public Library discovered that the package was actually Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich.
Read full storySmoker's Rebellion: Floods "Deliberate"
A succession of anti-smoking ban open air "smoke-ins" in Gloucester and Tewkesbury, along with a number that were due to be held in the Worcester area were called off when the Government unleashed ASH and the other anti-tobacco organisation...
Read full storyTewkesbury Declares Independence From Great Britain
It has been announced by Parliament this morning, that Tewkesbury, besieged by floodwaters that have effectively made the town an island, has declared independence from Great Britain.
Read full storyOzzy Osbourne to be next Batman Villian
Lawyers for Ozzy Osbourne and the the new media comglomorate Bat Productions are in final negotiations for Rock Legend Osbourne to appear in the latest Batman Movie Batman - "The early years" as the latest and baddest Super Villian Rockman.
Read full storySeagull Moves Up
A seagull in Aberdeen which used to steal packets of crisps from a newsagent, much to the amusement of locals, was today arrested whilst trying to rob a petrol station at gunpoint.
Read full story50 Cent Gobs Off: Don't Shoot The [C]rap!
[C]rap artist 50 Cent has sued an internet advert company for using his image in an online promotion.
Read full storyRon Paul Featured in New York Times; Fair and Balanced
Confirming an earlier prediction in The Spoof, the New York Times really did publish an article about Ron Paul, the surprisingly popular Republica...
Read full storyBush Proposes Monorail
President George W. Bush announced plans for a nationwide monorail system early Monday as part of his revamped energy and environmental policy agenda. He claimed that the monorail would reduce energy consumption and carbon output dramatically, while...
Read full storyGlobal Warming Cloud Controversies & Al Gore
Al Gore says that clouds are growing more important in scientific studies of global warming. Speaking at a conference last week, Gore discussed reports from several scientific journals on the varying roles played by...
Read full storyRon Paul Doctors Find 30 Polyps and Counting! Names Michael Jackson as Running Mate!
Ron Paul, not to be outdone by President Bush, made arrangements to have his own colonoscopy done, even though he had one only 6 months ago. During his absence, he has designated his new running mate Michael Jackson to take charge of his campaign whi...
Read full story"I'm not afraid of my feminine side" claims Terry
John Terry, the 26 year old Chelsea and England defender, known throughout the game for his tough tackling and heavy drinking, has shocked the footballing world by claiming he is no longer embarrassed to express his feminine side.
Read full story"I'll defy smoking ban" claims Madonna
The self appointed "Queen of Fags", 62 year old Mary Louise Ciccone Ritchie, better known to her fans simply as Madonna, claimed yesterday that she would be ignoring the ban that stops people smoking in public buildings.
Read full storyJoe Potts makes Legal History
Madcap Piscean Joe Potts 64, from Kent has made legal history today by becoming the first British Born subject to gain the right, in principle at least, to apply for Political Asylum.
Read full storyHarry Potter Crisis Hotline gets badly needed assistance from Dr. Kevorkian
London, England - The Harry Potter Crisis Hotline is setup to take calls from fans, many whom are emotionally ill-equip to handle the conclusion of the series, let alone the rumored loss major charters in J.K. Rowling's final installation, "...
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