Ron Paul Featured in New York Times; Fair and Balanced

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Monday, 23 July 2007

image for Ron Paul Featured in New York Times; Fair and Balanced
Typical Ron Paul supporter after reading the New York Times

Confirming an earlier prediction in The Spoof, the New York Times really did publish an article about Ron Paul, the surprisingly popular Republican candidate for president in the 2008 election. The lengthy piece by Christopher Caldwell was truly fair and impartial.

Caldwell took great pains to show the best side of the candidate. For example he showed the breadth of the Ron Paul following by describing how his campaign is inspiring lunatics of all kinds. He also stressed how Paul is in tune with modern culture, as the septuagenarian comes to grips with concepts such as the internet and magazines like GQ. He even showed a new side of Ron Paul, criticizing slavery in the original Constitution, a sharp contrast to his fondness for the document.

Paul's human side is also shown in depth, described as "homespun," a man who embraces barbecues and Velveeta cheese fudge, and maintains quaint notions like morality. Indeed the Times journalist seems to enjoy characterizing the outsider as something of a classical Republican, with frequent references to Barry Goldwater.

Unlike many politicians, Ron Paul refuses to vote in the interest of his constituents on subsidies and other federal help for his district. And he also refuses to pander, and was the lone vote to condemn Rosa Parks to hell for no apparent reason. Despite his odd behavior, Paul appears to still have friends on Capitol Hill, though the ones named in the article all refused to respond to inquiries from The Spoof.

In the end, Caldwell fairly and objectively reassures readers of the New York Times that "Ron Paul will not be the next president of the United States." In doing so he reassured Ron Paul fans that the mainstream media will continue to be impartial in covering candidates.

It should also be noted that, despite earlier fears, the Internet survived the flurry of activity from Ron Paul supporters. The Times gave plenty of advance notice and internet infrastructure providers were able to prepare.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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