World Markets Nervous as Ass Trade in Decline
Once the humble domestic ass carried people and their possessions throughout the world. But that was before the invention of the donkey, and ever since then ass usage has been sagging.
Read full storyIs Britney's New Boyfriend a Clone of Kevin?
Britney Spears recent break-up with hubbie Kevin Federline has been hot news in the last new weeks. But new pictures of Brit's new boyfriend have caused more gossip than ever before.
Read full storyJade's Making a Mint
It couldn't get any worse you may have been thinking? However a source has revealed a new turn in the grubby fate of Ms. Goody.
Read full storyStallone and Rooney: A Night to remember
Rocky star Sylvester Stallone and Champion Soccer chimp, Wayne Rooney sparked debate on Merseyside after a weekend of hell raising following the 'tinsel town' sluggers visit recently.
Read full story"John Reid is a Dimwit" - Clever Man
British Home Secretary John Reid has come under fire once more today, as the row over jailing dangerous criminals intensifies.
Read full storyLembit Opik Wants To Be A Cheeky Boy
Lembit Opik, the Liberal Democrat MP who swapped his weathergirl to date Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia, wants to go on tour with his new love - as part of the band!...
Read full storyNew Style Jigsaw Heralded As The Way Forward
A new type of jigsaw puzzle is being introduced to help people with low self-esteem and it's hoped that its "easier solution" design will help build their confidence.
Read full storyWilliams: Trade Me to the Falcons
DAVIE, Fla. - Suspended Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams hopes to get reinstated by the National Football League and get traded to the Atlanta Falcons, agent Lee Steinberg said Thursday night.
Read full storyThe Spoof's Not Posh Guide to Rock and Pop Part One
We hope you enjoyed the first in our bijou little series, The Spoof's Not Posh Guide to Premiership Football. Today, The Spoof, launches the second in the series, The Spoof's Not Posh Guide to Rock and Pop Part Uno, one in a series of high-quality pullout articles for all you busy, posh, Spoof reading parents who know what...
Read full storyLondon Alert After 'Fiend' Talks to Neighbour
Armed police closed off areas of Hackney today, after a man talked to his neighbour sparking off a major security alert. The man, Den Macintosh who got away, is thought to have visited several shops, buying...
Read full storyNew Broadway musical of Federline's 'unpleasant and demeaning' marriage
Broadway, NY - (Rioters): Kevin Federline's hamburger restaurant TV ad where he slams marriage to his cutesey over-exposed attention-seeking ex-wife Britney as 'unpleasant and demeaning' is to be made into a new Broadway musical according...
Read full storyHeather on the prowl?
Heather Mills-McCartney, estranged wife of the ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has been spotted in and around Channel 4 studios, it is alleged.
Read full storyBill Gates to buy up all the World's Oxygen
Seattle - In a press conference in Seattle Bill Gates today confirmed that he intends to apply the skills he developed as founder of the worlds most unavoidable and poisonous monopoly to buy up the whole world's supply of Oxygen.
Read full storyRace for White House: Auditions Planned
The White House has hatched a new plan to manage the issue of non-voters it was revealed today.
Read full storyManchester Man Has Radical Plastic Surgery To Look Like His Hero
Brian Hitler, from Dewsbury in Manchester, loves TV adverts so much that he has recently undergone painful surgery just so he can look like his TV ad' hero.
Read full storyJade to Manage Hammer's Argie Flops
Brainless big mouth, Jade Goody, is in talks to settle a deal which will see her managing premiership flops West Ham, in spite of never having done anything ever. The struggling London side's problems ar...
Read full storyUS Weapon Of Mass Deduction Unveiled
US military officials have today unveiled their latest secret weapon in their fight to repel enemies, help dispel hostile crowds and to murder innocent civilians.
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Jo Breaks Smoking Record
Celebrity Big Brother housemate Jo O'Meara has wormed her way into the hearts of TV viewers - and into the Guinness Book Of Records!...
Read full storyProdigal Wilkinson Returns
After demanding his inheritance, squandering his wealth on loose living and damaging his kidney to boot, Johnny Wilkinson may be coming home to the National Rugby team.
Read full storyItalian Police Find Homoerotic Gladiator Carvings
First century bas relief sculptures of Roman gladiators were found by Italy's version of Scotland Yard this week, while digging in the "backhouse" (Italian for outside toilet) of Roman Cardinal Guiseppe Pedophiliano.
Read full storyAnn Widdecombe Statue Shocker!
Maidstone - Several little old ladies were rushed to hospital today after the unveiling of a statue celebrating the work and life of the Maidstond and Weild Member of Parliament Ann Widdecombe.
Read full storyBrown Chooses Lavatory Paper Colour: It's Green!
"It's green!", Brown announced after agonizing over his decision concerning the new National Lavatory Paper Colour (NLPC).
Read full storyShoes, Hat...Unmentionables - The New Tattletale!
According to respected Japanese scientists, I.M.Watchinu, the Global Positioning System (GPS) technology now found in phones and watches is "flawed". The problem being, in Watchinu's mind, is that mobile phones and watches can be easily left at home...
Read full storyPlaying Bush Speech Backwards Reveals "Gore Was Right About Everything!"
The handful of Americans who managed to stay awake through President Bush's State of the Union address noted there was nothing especially noteworthy. Listening to the speech backwards, however, reveals Bush apparently saying "Gore was right...
Read full storyAZ's Horne Calls for Lap Dances for Failing Students
AZ's Ed Head, Tom Horne was quoted in local papers as favoring lap dances for failing students. The AZ Daily Stun reported that Horne thought Lap dances could significantly raise the scores of AZ's struggling students.
Read full storyWoody Allen & Steve Martin Confess to Hot Love Affair
The Confession may have been one of the most moving moments in Hollywood romance history. Both comedians, playwrights and film directors finally say that they have found love in each others very gray bosoms.
Read full storyAl kill-a-lota Corporation celebrates millionth franchisee
Tora Bora - Speaking from the corner office at the Tora Bora headquaters of the Al Kill-a-lota Corporation (A subsidiary of Disney), Head of Sales, Osama Bin Laid-a-lot announced the sale of the millionth franchisee of the Al Kil-a-lot brand.
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