AZ's Horne Calls for Lap Dances for Failing Students

Funny story written by Pointer

Friday, 26 January 2007

image for AZ's Horne Calls for Lap Dances for Failing Students
Polish Pole Dancer Defeated Communism

AZ's Ed Head, Tom Horne was quoted in local papers as favoring lap dances for failing students. The AZ Daily Stun reported that Horne thought Lap dances could significantly raise the scores of AZ's struggling students.

Horne (pronounced Horn-E) was reported to have said: "Access to this popular stimulant could motivate every student to grab hold of a good education!". The Tucson Demagogue had Horne saying that lap dances were the newest, latest and that widespread support would be found among parents and kids.

In Phoenix, the AZ Repubeslick issued an editorial supporting Horne's position: "The Horne Dawg has finally got it right up the ...! With the right teachers in the right position. No Child Will Be Left Behind!"

Flagstiff's Erect Pole, the ethnic paper of the Eastern European community praised Horne: "Forget Reagan and JPII! Lap dances defeated communism in Eastern Europe and it will defeat illiteracy in AZ. Bring on the Velvet revolution! Pole dancing forever!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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