Bill Gates to buy up all the World's Oxygen

Written by Shanghaied

Friday, 26 January 2007

image for Bill Gates to buy up all the World's Oxygen
Monopolising Oxygen so that the Gates foundation gets bigger and bigger

Seattle - In a press conference in Seattle Bill Gates today confirmed that he intends to apply the skills he developed as founder of the worlds most unavoidable and poisonous monopoly to buy up the whole world's supply of Oxygen.

International observers started to raise concern about what Mr Gates and his 'Evil' Empire were up to when Bill bought lots of evenly spread plots of land across the globe and began building large buildings that can now be applied to Oxygen collation. The business will require $500bn of Mr Gates $Gazillion-squillion fortune after which time, everyone in the world will be required to purchase a license from Microsoft to have access to Oxygen.

Journalists asked Mr Gates about Counterfeit Chinese Oxygen that would inevitably find its way onto the market. Mr Gates dismissed this as being full of viruses. Bill Gates' plan has received support from Mafia President George W Bush who commented that all people in the developing world would eventually die being unable to pay Microsoft exorbitant licenses and the royalties would be so huge that the Gates foundation would have lots more money to tease the developing world with.

Microsoft is further developing a backward incompatible version of Oxygen to ensure that one generation of users is unable to pass on their supply to the next generation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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