Woman Gives Birth to Dog
An Ohio woman gave birth this morning to a full-size Standard Poodle. The odd birth occurred at a Cleveland hospital where a team of doctors and veterinarians worked for several hours on Mildred Stroebel who was accompanied in the delivery room by h...
Read full storySwiss unveil Doomsday Cuckoo Clock
Zurich, Switzerland - (Rioters): The Swiss government has unveiled plans for their Doomsday Cuckoo Clock which gauges world credibility of its banking secrecy arrangements which have fallen so far behind internationally accepted standards that they a...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Rips Off Bush's Dog Barney's Head
"Well he shouldn't have gnarled at me" - Nancy Pelosi, 13th day on the job explained after the president's dog Barney got loose during a Congressional hearing and tinkled on her pumps.
Read full storyJohn Leslie to star in Love Island 2007
Ex Blue Peter presenter and predatory sex offender John Leslie is one of several has beens tipped to appear on this year's Love Island.
Read full storyJade Goody Sex Tape Maims Journalists
Three Journalists working for The Sun Newspaper have been hospitalised in what is thought to be 'post traumatic mental stress' caused by viewing a tape supplied to the paper by Ex boyfriend of Goody, Jamie Cashins.
Read full storyBush Surge Becomes Purge
Wall Street Kernel - With the purse strings of the defense budget being snapped shut by the Congress, the urge to surge the war in Iraq is grinding to a halt, and to avoid a total purge, President Bush, megaphone in hand, and his group of neo-cons wh...
Read full storyWal-Mart Launches "Not as Evil as You Think" Campaign
Wal-Mart has launched a massive TV campaign built around the tag-line "Wal-Mart: We're Not as Evil as You Think". The retail giant is fighting back against charges it under-insures employees, homogenizes the landscape, and generally is...
Read full storySaddam Dies; Gets 34 Virgins
The entire Muslim community was angered today when it was revealed that Saddam Hussein received only 34 virgins after death. That's less than half the number of virgins promised in the Koran.
Read full storyBorat auditions for Litvinenko The Movie
Pinewood Studios - (Ass Mess): London-domiciled Kazakhstani actor Mr Borat is said to be auditioning for the lead role of Litvinenko The Movie after a new slant on the hapless ex-KGB spook's life and death was penned by script writers once associ...
Read full storyDonald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell Arrested in NYC
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK--(BREAKING NEWS) Donald Trump, CEO of the Trump Organization (NASDAQ, TRMP.O), and host of the his own reality show, The Apprentice, was arrested by New York Poli...
Read full storyUS Air Force strips Playboy sergeant
Lackland Air Force Base - (Ass Mess): A winsome US Air Force sergeant who posed naked for Playboy magazine has been stripped by her inferior officers after being told that she "does not meet the high standards we expect of our airmen".
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Disband .. Texas Stadium to become World's Largest Walmart
Texas Stadium in Dallas Texas, now without a paying tenant after the Cowboys called it quits and sold the 122,700,000 square foot complex to the Walmart corporation expects to open it's doors AS WALMART Super Sunday right after Prince's halft...
Read full storyLatest Shortage Sparks Panic Buying
Chaotic scenes this afternoon when it was announced that a shortage of something or other available in the supermarket was going to be hyped up out of all proportion.
Read full storySatirist Discovers Link Between Bald, Black Men and Discipline
Satirist and part-time social scientist, "King David" discovered a link between bald, African American men and discipline today when he tapped into a universal pattern naturally linking the two. It was said that the satirist was on assignme...
Read full storyFull English Under Fire
The Food Standards Agency is intending to implement new regulations in relation to British favourite the Full English.
Read full storyPete Doherty Shock Intends To Make Record
Shock news today as it has been revealed that never out of the tabloids man, Pete Doherty, is going into a recording studio and actually intends making a record.
Read full storySen. Ted Stevens Found Frozen In Snowzilla
ANCHORAGE, Alaska- Residents living near Snowzilla were first angered by the gridlock in their quiet town. Little did they know what attention the snowman would bring after it melted. Just when they thought their nightmare was over, it has only just...
Read full storyWhore on Terra: "We are the backing vocals" says Blair
Drowning Street - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has reiterated his Administration's determination to suck up as much military kudos from Iraq as possible before Texan overlords in the Bush family are finally dragged off kicking and scre...
Read full storyA Pox on the Scots and 300 years of Whinging
London - (Ass Mess): 300 years ago this Tuesday a rabble bunch of co-dependent, miserly, haggis-infested, whisky-sodden, sheep-shagging, incest-spreading, paralytic, dour-old whinging wind-bags decided it was worth looting the London Exchequer in ret...
Read full storyGum Manufacturer, Gumby Stuck With Lawsuit
American businessman and gum manufacturer, Gumby got stuck with a $2 million dollar lawsuit today from an employee who claimed she was "chewed up and spit out" by the system.
Read full storyConcerns About Global Warming
Jan 13th UPS - In a recent nationwide survey, US citizens were asked if they felt concerned about "Global Warming" and the possible weather changes related to this phenomenon.
Read full storyWeapons Of Mass Production
As if British troops in Iraq didn't have enough to worry about, a new crisis emerged yesterday that could seriously undermine their safety, and that of Iraqi citizens.
Read full storyStar Jones and Donald Trump Form Strange Alliance
In the throes of his battle with Rosie O'Donnell and Barbara Walters, The Donald has reported receiving a congratulatory call from deposed diva Star Jones.
Read full storyPut a Fork in Wrigley, It's Done
Wrigley Field, the home of the Chicago Cubs, will be getting a new name before the 2007 baseball season. Following in the footsteps of other ball fields that have adopted the names of corporate sponsors, Wrigley Field will now be called the "K-M...
Read full storyPhotos of Britney Getting Out of Limo Used To Help Foreign Students Learn To Sell Themselves; Be More Aggressive
It was reported today that foreign students enrolled in U-Cal Berkeley's cultural training course, America 101, received some eye-opening advice from Wall Street "Head Hunter" firm, Heads 'R Us. Head's 'R Us agent, Gillette...
Read full story