American businessman and gum manufacturer, Gumby got stuck with a $2 million dollar lawsuit today from an employee who claimed she was "chewed up and spit out" by the system.
The employee, Bubbalicious Bucastermeiner, claims to have been taken advantage of when she was asked to disrobe at the door of the factory for a security check. The security guards were reported to have groped the voluptuous piece of gum and sampled her flavor before letting her go into the factory.
Bubbalicious was then said to have gone to human resources to report the incident, showing still visible indentations in her pink flesh where the security guards held on to her and licked her skin. She was then sent to a doctor who performed tests and confirmed that the gum had been sampled.
Reporters say that Bubbalicious's lawyer, Clove Whittenborough pressed charges against the two security guards and the gum manufacturer and said that Gumby could be facing a $2 million fine while the guards were facing up to 5-year prison sentences. Penalties for gum sampling are rather stiff in North Carolina.
A spokesman for Gumby International said that their CEO (Chief Expectorating Orface) was currently in Guatemala and could not be reached. Apparently, the gum manufacturer few to Guatemala last week and is very selective about ingredients that go into his product.
"He wants to be sure that only the best trees are selected for harvesting," said PR spokesman for the Gum manufacturer, Juan Valdez. "He has learned that there is no substitute for picking the product yourself."
Gum, for anyone that is interested, is harvested from the Chicle Tree which grows prevalently in Guatemala.
It wasn't definite when the obsequious and zesty businessman would be back in the county, but it was reported that he would have to be present at the trial in February.
A spokesman for the public school system said that they hoped the lawsuit would set the wealthy gum manufacturer back pointing to his product as one of the school system's major nemesis.
"It gets in hair; it gets on desks; it gets in carpets; it gets on lockers; it rots teeth; it distracts from learning; it gets on people's nerves."
