The Santa Clause
In an unbelievable example of "political correctness gone mad," Father Christmas has been added to the sex offender's register in a landmark court decision.
Read full storyRight-wing Christians denounce Theory of Relativity
Evolution is no longer the only science under attack by those diagnosed with Fundamentalist Christianity. They have also begun condemning Relativity, or as they call it, "Einsteinism".
Read full storyThe Things That I Know
As a single man living in New York City, I have gained knowledge on a variety of subjects; things that have helped me survive pretty well in the greatest city on earth. Although you may never find yourself in the following situation (and I hope you never do) it never hurts to be prepared.
Read full storyDVD Critic's Corner
Today DVD critic Tom Levier looks at a classic movie in his collection.
Read full storyJapanese car renamed to avoid offending Muslims
The Japanese giant car manufacturer Nissan - which is a giant company manufacturing cars, not a company manufacturing giant cars - has been forced to rename its latest product after a wave of protests throughout the Muslim world.
Read full storyWTF "Dodi bringing such joy into this chick's life?" Palace asks
Buckingham Palace - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Palace big knobs have condemned tawdry letters purportedly written by the late Diana, Princess of Wales as a sordid forgery after they were read out at an inquest into her death ten years ago.
Read full storyCops cock-a-hoop as FA lures Capello mobsters to London
City of London - (Ass Mess): "The FA has saved us the need for a tricky extradition order," City of London Police top brass chuckled today amid headlines that the notorious P2 Lodge's top henchmen have meekly and conveniently agreed to...
Read full storyMeddling MEP's Look Set To Cancel Christmas
Meddling Brussels MEP's have astonished all of Europe by suggesting that in future the future Christmas will be decided by a referendum in the coming years.
Read full storyNoshing Mink's Lost World Part II
In the last instalment, I was drafted into an expedition to the Amazon to look for dinosaurs. In this episode, I almost get eaten by a large plant but am rescued by a scantily clad blond women with big jugs.
Read full storyRed Hats turn dinner theater evening into drunken brawl
RALEIGH, N.C. - An evening of dinner theater fun turned ugly when at least 10 members of a visiting Red Hat Society turned the night into a drunken free-for-all, police say.
Read full storyHollywood scriptwriters' strike - producers bring in Indian writers: everything's Bollywood now, yar!
In a desperate effort to avoid loss of advertising revenues, dozens of Indians have been drafted in by producers to replace striking Hollywood scriptwriters.
Read full storyRiot-Happy French Celebrate 'Annual Unrest'
French citizens erupted in traditional rebellion today, in celebration of the period of annual unrest. Thousands of men, women and children poured onto the streets and began the festivities with the usual barrage of broken bottles, bullets and burnin...
Read full storyB Movie addict critical of Bee Movie
MADISON, Wisc. - He expected to see hot, sexy, female inmates strip down to bra and panties and fight. Instead, all he see saw was a coming of age movie about the adventures of a young honey bee.
Read full storyGibbons Admits Thinking Bad Thoughts About Mohammed
Gillian Gibbons, the English teacher who gave a Teddy Bear the same name as the sacred prophet of Islam, Mohammed, has told how she accepted her guilty verdict and considered her punishment as 'pathetic'. Gibbons, 54, told the BBC in an interview...
Read full storyFinal Score Football Results To Be Read By Women
The BBC, in its wisdom, has taken up the gauntlet for Women in Sport, and, for a trial period, has agreed to allow women to read the football results in its Final Score programme on Saturdays.
Read full storyOfficial - Wilma P to Advice Britney S!
It's official, Wilma Proops is to offer advice to Britney Spears. Confirmation that the fallen star believes that many a true word is spoken in jest was received by Wilma at her Liverpool headquarters in the form of an official order and...
Read full storyBush in talks with statue
Prince Charles is known to have the ability to talk to plants and he has many interesting conversations with them on evenings when Camilla is 'not in the mood'.
Read full storyGiuliani Sets Out Presidential Agenda
Giuliani has set out his stall for the Presidential elections. He promises a "zero tolerance" approach in Iraq and an early return home for US troops.
Read full storyChristmas Shopping Halted!
Shoppers in Birmingham's City Centre were confronted by the spectacular vision of the city's Arts Czar this morning. As they feebly attempted to keep their minds on their Christmas shopping their imaginations were captured by the charismatic...
Read full storyChristmas cancelled due to labor disputes at Santa's workshop
Christmas has been cancelled until at least 2009 due to a series of upheavals at the North Pole workshop of Santa Claus [known in Britain as Father Christmas].
Read full storyWorld Seals Global Warming Deal to Jettison US
The world has agreed on a deal to tackle global warming as a last-minute plan to "let the US go" appeared to have saved the planet. Yo de Bore, the UN's top climate guru said countries were on the "brink of agreement" over get...
Read full storyFootball Results To Be Read By A Woman
BBC Sport, in a move calculated to revolutionise viewers' perception of women in sport, have agreed to a trial run of women reading the football results on Final Score on Saturdays. In a link-up with television and the BBC website, here are today's results read by chatty Chat Show host Gaby Logan:...
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