Football Results To Be Read By A Woman

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 15 December 2007

image for Football Results To Be Read By A Woman
Football is a man's game

BBC Sport, in a move calculated to revolutionise viewers' perception of women in sport, have agreed to a trial run of women reading the football results on Final Score on Saturdays. In a link-up with television and the BBC website, here are today's results read by chatty Chat Show host Gaby Logan:

Hello everybody. Gaby Logan here. It's bitter out, isn't it!? Anyway, let's get on with the scores, as that James Alexander Gordon says.

Barclays Premier League, that's the cream of the crop, the Top Dogs! OK let's get going then...

Birmingham 1 Reading 2 - I wonder what Karin Brady will make of that. Slapper!
Derby 1 Middlesbrough 0 More trouble for Gareth Southgate. Wouldn't want to be in his shoes tonight! I wouldn't mind a bit of that Mark Viduka though, eh girls!
Fulham Newcastle, that one's not kicked off yet, we'll let you know all the news as it happens on BBC Sport! I used to fancy that David Ginola!
Man City 3 Bolton 2 Sven still working his magic at Maine Road. Is it still Maine Road? No? I'm hearing in my ear it's now the City of Manchester Stadium.
Portsmouth 3 Tottenham 1 Harry does it again, he's worked a miracle there down on the South coast. Pity about the fraud allegations.
Sunderland 0 Aston Villa 0 Nil-nil bore, I've never really liked Villa's kit, d'you know what I mean? Or Villa. Or Sunderland for that matter.
West Ham 1 Everton 1 The Hammers and the Toffees! Nicknames, they're great, aren't they!? Stalemate in East London for Alan Curbishley and David Moyes. We had David Moyes on the show last week. He's quite dishy actually, ladies! Do you know what he said to me?...


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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