In an unbelievable example of "political correctness gone mad," Father Christmas has been added to the sex offender's register in a landmark court decision.
It has been felt by some concerned parents that perhaps an elderly gentleman who enjoys children sitting on his knee, hangs around children's bedrooms while they sleep and gives out presents and sweets to "good little children", is rather a cause for concern.
In a shock decision, Judge Eddie Neeberscrooj motioned a change to the law to allow anthropomorphic personifications to be added to the sex offenders register in what is rapidly becoming known as "the Santa clause."
Father Christmas caused further controversy as he left the Old Bailey, by allegedly calling a female member of the jury a derogatory term sometime applied to women of a loose moral tendency and not to be confused with a garden implement. It is believed he called her this name three times in close succession and seemed awfully jolly about it. It is yet to be confirmed whether charges will be brought for this incident.
The tooth fairy (a close friend of Father Christmas) was spotted leaving the court room looking tired and emotional, amid rumours of multiple theft and trespassing charges to be brought against her.
