Fed up with being warned off interesting-sounding activities like online dating, race car driving and the Peace Corps, millions of Americans identifying as “faint of heart” have finally found a new hobby: water fasting, which involves abstaining from...
With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...
To the immense disappointment of his vegan fans around the world, YouTube star and former plant-based advocate Leif Burke announced that, due to health concerns regarding his abnormally low cholesterol, mercury, and arsenic levels, he has again begun...
Tom Norton, 48, of La Crosse, Wisconsin, experimented with the idea of going "organic" last week, after promising himself that he would let go of Walmart-purchased pot pies, microwavable spaghetti dinners, corned beef hash, processed cheese curds, ha...
An unidentified man was seen walking into a shop this week, whereupon he bought a fish. The man, dressed in a grey hoodie top, blue jeans and dark brown leather shoes, was observed at approximately 7pm on Saturday 23rd October, entering the shop...
What is it with retailers? They seem to think that the mid-winter celebration of the birth of some bloke in Palestine gives them carte blanche to assault our taste buds with all sorts of concoctions we wouldn't think of touching at any other time of the year. You know what I mean: sherry, Bailey's Irish Cream, crème de menthe and snowballs for god's sake. Our award-winning French Food & Dri...
People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...
A man who has spent much of the last ten years of his life away from his native England, had only one thought on his mind last night: Baked Beans! The man, Moys Kenwood, 55, left the UK in 2009, and, during his time spent abroad, first in Thailand...
My Ami, Florida—Pubix, a Florida grocery chain, has posted signs outside its stores: no dogs allowed (unless they are trained service dogs) and no dogs allowed in or on grocery carts (even if they are trained service dogs). The problem is that the do...
An egg that was pan-fried in sunflower oil until the yolk was a pale yellow color, which could then be "bitten and chewed", had been cooked for too long, in one man's opinion. The egg, served to Moys Kenwood, 55, by his wife as part of a sausage,...
After weeks of investigation local man Lawerance Oddert, father of three, was killed in a violent shootout with police after stealing a pie that was cooling on old Miss Tennanbaums window sill. The police first started suspecting Oddert when he refus...
There were concerns for the future of an ancient Scottish hotel, as well as for the safety of its staff this morning, when it was revealed that guests there had staged a violent protest after having eaten the establishment's special hotel-made soup,...
A man in Battambang who was enjoying a cup of tea after his evening meal last night was shocked to find that the bun that he was eating along with his brew contained a foreign body - a staple. Moys Kenwood, 54, was halfway through the chocolate bu...
With the E. coli outbreak that infected one variety of Arizona's lettuce crop now seemingly at an end, the Farm Bureau has urged all concerned to romaine calm. However, the fallout from the crisis has had a devastating financial impact on the entire...
Local Hospital, Last Resort Methodist, has opened its second food court in an effort to get more patients into the hospital. “The first food court didn’t have enough disease in their food. This time, with options like McFryBird and Lard Cow, we’r...
A potential diner was left disappointed and hungry last night, when the Bangkok restaurant, at which he intended to take his répast, told him they were 'out of food', leaving him speechless and dinnerless. Moys Kenwood, 51, had gone to the Big C F...
Eight months ago, 380-pound competitive powerlifter Craig Ramey, in a quest to pack on more muscle, adopted an entirely carnivorous diet, consisting solely of meat and eggs, occasionally coupled with cheese. That, together with a rigorous steroid reg...
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