Man buys fish

Written by Loz Charles

Monday, 28 January 2019

An unidentified man was seen walking into a shop this week, whereupon he bought a fish.

The man, dressed in a grey hoodie top, blue jeans and dark brown leather shoes, was observed at approximately 7pm on Saturday 23rd October, entering the shop and then leaving about five minutes later.

A passer-by, a lady who was in her seventies, commented at the scene.

"This is not the first time I have seen this man buying fish! This is becoming a regular occurrence. What worries me is not knowing. When I think of the slippery skin and the eye staring, it makes me shudder!" she said.

"You mean the fish?" asked our reporter.

"No, I was talking about the man!" exclaimed the old lady with obvious emotion. "This is a man who has a collection of knives in his kitchen!" she continued. "He is walking about in the community, picking up fish and doing God knows what to them when he gets home."

The man has been known to regularly frequent supermarkets and shops where fish are sold.

"I think there is something very fishy going on here" stated another passer-by, who sniffed the air with suspicion. "There was a definite look of hunger on his face, even a slight smile as he licked his lips."

There is a trend for this man, and perhaps many other men, to become involved in fish-related activities, hanging around local ponds, and even visiting ocean bars. We warn the public to be on their guard.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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