Her Majesty The Queen announced yesterday that she is to launch her own entry on Twitter! "One is surrounded by buffoons, inbeciles and twits, and in a world where we are all equal, it is of great importance to me that my subjects have a glimpse i...
Gurkha rights campaigner Joanna Lumley got a heroes welcome in Nepal yesterday because of her campaign to allow Gurkhas to stay in the UK. Lumley is to be declared Queen of Nepal and will start her campaign to bring the entire population of Nepal...
London - (Dignitarse Mess): Bailiffs from a Swiss assisted euthanasia clinic parachuted into Buckingham Palace this weekend to collect on a contractual debt now well past its sell-by. However the Queen had already barricaded herself inside the ro...
Windsore Castle - (Somnambulism Mess): The Queen is sleepwalking her way to auto-erotic asphyxiation disaster according to flunkies charged with straightjacketing her down for the night at Windsor. A warm, wet, sticky-fingered summer has triggered...
The Queen of England and other places on the planet wants all the unemployed and the poor to be rounded up and sent to live in Afghanistan in Hell or Helmand province alternatively they could be sent to The Falklands which is Hell. In Afghanistan...
In a shocking interview with the German magazine Der Spiegel, Queen Elizabeth has been quoted as saying it is her wish that Prince William and Prince Harry be buried with her when she dies. "They are truly lovely children, and I would miss them terri...
The lyrics of flamboyant rock band Queen have been shown to incite racism and violence amongst people, it's claimed. Songs like 'We are the Champions (of the World)" and "We Will Rock You" - with their lyrics of "no time for losers, because we...
Vatican Shitty - (ReUterus): "Ja, ven he found out ze missus voz up ze bun klubben after scroo-ing around mit zat asshole George Bush Senior Monsignor Joseph Ratzinger gave her und ultimatum: flush the freak down ze toiletten or it's over, meine lieb...
Buckingham Palace - (Penumbral Eclipse Mess): The search for CIA-hired drug dealers who dispatched Michael Jackson to anaesthetic oblivion is over. Two of the toxic desperados have been caught on Palace CCTV cranking HM the Queen's arm and shootin...
Brian May's hair has dropped. The legendary guitarist from rock band Queen has described how he has even considered suicide after waking up the other morning and finding that his famous bouffant mane had lost the ability to stand upright. From hum...
Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Con Trail Mess): Plagued by Old Testament-like 'voices' prophesying a July 4th Independence Day disaster the Queen has ordered the RAF to stop buzzing her ancestral Scottish mansion after cranial implants began singing...
Holyrood Palace - (Karmic Ass Mess): Scientists are warning that ominous solar activity and a surge in hot weather is playing havoc with the Queen's pacemaker. The Earth's July 4, Independence Day solar aphelion could effectively jam the microwave...
Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Royal Karmic Ass Mess): Queen Elizabeth is favorite to continue an action-packed week of celebrity deaths following the recent 'suicide' of singer Michael Jackson. Cluedo watchers have top-rated HM in the Z-List of...
Holyrood Palace - (Dog Days Mess): Billed as a heavy cold, an unexpected eruption of royal Swine flu is one possible cause behind the Queen's cancellation of offical duties following the news that her wayward son by 41st US President George Herbert B...
London - (Rioters): Flunkeys broke the news to the Queen at midnight, waking her in her Herman Goering Suite four-poster at Buckingham Palace as the news broke that her godson Michael Jackson had died. The old monarchy hoaxer promptly turned a shi...
In an unexpected but welcome development, Queen Elizabeth II has called the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, to Buckingham Palace and told him to "Piss Orf". Her Majesty has decided that, as an 105-year-old veteran of a large number of Prime Minister...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of State Hillary Clinton fell and fractured her right elbow while playing tennis with Queen Elizabeth of England at a local YMCA. With Clinton trailing the queen she lunged to get a line shot and twisted her elbalistic...
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