London - (Dignitarse Mess): Bailiffs from a Swiss assisted euthanasia clinic parachuted into Buckingham Palace this weekend to collect on a contractual debt now well past its sell-by.
However the Queen had already barricaded herself inside the royal panic room armed with a BBC Trash In the Attic-reject blunderbuss. And enough elephant-shot to dispatch the entire Household Cavalry into posterity oblivion.
At the heart of the dispute is a 06 year-old contract agreed by Mrs Joseph Ratzinger - to give her her full legal title - to hand over the Crown Jewels, Estates and bank accounts to the Vatican in exchange for the 1939-negotiated 30 pieces of silver.
The treaty also recognises Mrs & Mrs Ratzinger's first begotten son Mr Gerry Adams IRA as the couple's only lawful legatee.
Camilla is back on maintenance largactil.