Vatican Shitty - (ReUterus): "Ja, ven he found out ze missus voz up ze bun klubben after scroo-ing around mit zat asshole George Bush Senior Monsignor Joseph Ratzinger gave her und ultimatum: flush the freak down ze toiletten or it's over, meine liebe schweinhund, over!"
Papal private secretary and lay 'sister' Ingrid Stampa's testimony yesterday before the US Congressional Committee on Michael Jackson doppelgangers also described the baby's birth after several botched attempts to have it aborted.
"Mozart's Eine Schweine Nachtmusik voz Blairing out on ze sanatorium radio ven suddenly voosh! Out comes ze brat in a torrent of evil birthslime.
"Everyone takes cover as ze smell of rotting broccoli fills ze room. And ze säugling looks just like his Fuherer grandfazer's little pet schnauzer.
The Committee was adjourned pending DEA forensic evidence results.