The Queen's Crown is missing after Her Majesty accidentally flushing it down a lavatory at Buckingham Palace. A spokesman from the Palace said that whilst the Queen was bending over the toilet in an incident described as a "double-flusher," the cr...
Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Portents): In an ironic twist of fate the first sight to greet HM this morning was a 500ft mushroom cloud crop circle in a Balmoral wheat field that somehow sprang up over night.. The apparition seems to depict the...
Scotland - (Terminal News): Royal Protection Racket police appear nonplussed by this morning's sighting of the North Korean hit squad. The gang is believed to be a personal birthday gift to Charles from wackjob dictator Kim Jong Very Ill Indeed.
Outer Hebrides - (Fishy Tales): Are stowaway Somali pirates really going to poison the Queen in her Pride of Loch Ness suite on Friday - just to upstage Chelsea Clinton's wedding day headlines? A posse of Royal Navy anti-sabotage officers searched...
Western Isles - (Rotters): The 2000+ tonne MV Hellfire Hebridean Prince Ass was chartered by HM the Queen for a bargain basement rate of £20,000 per day - debited from a BP sinking fund. Its fabulous Libyan livery includes Colonel Gaddafi's person...
Stornoway - (Auf Wiedersehen, Pest! News): Astrologers were predicting a karmic typhoon in Western Scottish waters next week as the Queen boarded the MV Hellfire Hebridean Princess this afternoon. Dozens of the Ratzinger coven are accompanying th...
London - (Blackshirt News): It's the greatest day of his pathetic fascist life. The BNP's poster boy for unbridled corruption is preparing to meet birth mom Queen Elizabeth at a Buckingham Palace garden party on Thursday. At 2pm tomorrow Grif...
London - (Portents): She's been at it again. Feeble-brained Belgian attention seeking Dowager Queen Fabiola has been caught sending 'death threat' postcards to herself again. These warn an assassination attempt will be made on her during a publi...
Windsor - (Petit Mal News): It's a sudden death penalty shootout kinda solar eclipse this weekend. And the news from Our Man in the Curfew Tower is that the Grim Reaper is poised to score the ultimate karmic Golden Goal. Already we've had seari...
HOLLYWOOD - Well it appears that England's Queen Elizabeth has been bitten by the acting bug. The 84-year-old royal highness will appear in a two line cameo speaking role on the hit TV vampire series, The Vampire Dairies. The show's producer Ma...
ANAHEIM, California - Queen Elizabeth, 84, but who really doesn't look a day over 82, visited the world famous Disneyland Amusement Park with her English Royal Entourage of 129 people. Earlier in the day her Majesty had addressed the United Nation...
New York - (7/7 Mess): Cold War tribute act Elizabeth Windsor today bid farewell to the UN Assembly and said she had a terminal inkling about the morning. Five years ago some of her hired henchmen, a.k.a. the Blair Government, were successful in...
New York - (9/11 Mess): With temperatures nudging a sweltering 100F the heat is really on George W Bush's puppet monarch aunty who brazens it out with a Ground Zero wreath laying today. The itinerary also includes a vanity visit to the United Nati...
In a remarkable turn of events, Queen Elizabeth II has addresses the UN. Liz is the head of sixteen countries, and is the figurative leader of the fifty-two countries in the Commonwealth, overseeing nearly a third of the population of the planet.
England's Queen Elizabeth is planning a quick trip to New York City Tuesday and expects a full schedule of appearances. Among the stops on her itinerary is a visit to Coney Island where she'll officiate over a re-match of the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog...
Toronto - (Right Royal Mess): Republican whorsewhisperers are planning to deliver a terminal dose of the equine blood thinner lasix as a July 4th/Independence Day treat for millions. The medication is used by the Queen on foreign trips amid deep v...
CNN are looking for a replacement for the ever ageing Larry King, after hosting Larry King Live on the cable network for over 25 years. Rumours are rife that Queen and the Pope have sought to move in on the vacant chair. The Catholic Church fee...
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