PALM BEACH, Florida - (Satire News) - Word on the streets of Palm Beach is that fat ass Trump's urologist has informed him that the "Tub Of Lard" is so fucking fat that each of his ass cheeks weighs 65 pounds. Dr. Othello P. Bottomwood, who claims…
HACKENSACK, New Jersey - (Satire News) - The Prophylactic World is amazed at the latest discovery in 'Rubbers." A retired New Jersey gynecologist, Dr. Titus F. Upperweed, 51, told The American Department of Birth Control (ADBC) that he has discove…
MUMBAI, India - (Satire News) - India's Sacred Cow News Agency has just made an amazing discovery in one of its salt mines, which just happens to be the largest one in the entire world, even larger than the salt mine located in Iceland. A writer f…
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - In a very surprising announcement the FBI has just informed the news media that two pieces of baboon shit (aka Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump and Alexander Beverly Murdaugh) will be sharing a jail cell at the infamou…
RALEIGH, North Carolina - (Satire News) - It is no secret that a certain group of North Carolina residents (GOPers) do not have even a sliver of a sense of humor. For years, the rest of the nation has commented on how dry the Republican folks of N…
ATLANTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - The Pyramid Hotel and Gambling Casino in Las Vegas first introduced porn star Moxie Windwater to the Vegas casino goers a year ago on Valentines Day. And Moxie quicky became a favorite at the roulette wheel table…
TOPEKA, Kansas - (Satire News) - The state that is home to wheat, corn, barley, milo, sorghum, and a very rare species of hummingbird that does not hum has just made a major announcement. The governor of the "Fly-Over" state of Kansas. Laura "Swee…
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The Hasbroken Toy Company has just reported that they manufactured 45 Dick Alexander Murdaugh Bobblehead dolls and according to retail outlets only 2 were sold. One was sold to Ann Coulter, GOP maven, who is such a skanky…
CHARLESTON, West Virginia - (Satire News) - The nation's poverty steak has hit all the states very hard, but none like West Virginia, where many of the states 874,773 coal mines have had to shut down, due to the flashlight shortage. The good folks…
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) - Press Extra reporter Voodoo Dupree, sister of comedian Zydeco Dupre, reports that the "Fly Over State" of Iowa has just voted to ban pornography in the state's bars, hotels, fast food chains, schools, and nail salon…
WALTERBORO, South Carolina - (Satire News) - In a highly publicized trail, Dick Alexander Murdaugh, who looks like he could be Trump's illegitimate cousin Niles Fausto Trump, will be spending the next 707 years in a cold, damp, cell at Sing Sing Fede…
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - An attractive Hooters girl, who was born a boy, has informed Bedroom Pillow Talk, that Marjorie Taylor Greene has become obsessed and infatuated with her since seeing her on the "Tonight Show." Cordelia Figgatini, 2…
MONTGOMERY, Alabama - (Satire News) - The state of Alabama which prides itself in three things (1) Being known as "The Land of Cotton," (2) Being an extremely religious state, with churches on every street corner, and (3) Being the state that positiv…
CESSPOOL CREEK, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The I Wish I Was In Dixie Commode Company has just announced a major toilet recall. Company spokespeson, Scarlett "Dumpy" Biggerstaff, 48, said that the reason for the recall is due to the fact that se…
DUCK DUNG, Alabama - (Satire News) - It is no secret that the state that voted the most for ToxicTrump in 2020, was the cotton pickin' state of Alabama, where cotton is king, and the people revere the money-making commodity. The highly reputable Q…
DETROIT, Michigan - (US Satire) - The Detroit Police Department has just hired what is believed to be the first F-9 feline cat in the entire United States. MoTown police chief Roscoe F. Guthrie, informed the news media that a 7-year-old calico cat…
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Well in the "What The Hell Took You So Fucking Long, George Department," George Conway, the husband of Trump's ex-campaign manager, chief advisor, and Big Mac fetcher, (Kellyanne Conway) has finally had his fill of…
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