CHARLESTON, West Virginia - (Satire News) - The nation's poverty steak has hit all the states very hard, but none like West Virginia, where many of the states 874,773 coal mines have had to shut down, due to the flashlight shortage.
The good folks of West Virginia, who love their cornbread, their collared greens, and their moonshine, voted in favor of extending the decades old "3-Second Dropped Food Rule."
For decades when anyone in America, kids, adults, and octogenarians dropped a food item on the floor or ground they had three seconds to pick it up and continue to eat it.
But due to West Virginia's widespread poverty, that rule (in West Virginia at least) is now out the window and it has been replaced by the new, more sensible, 35-second dropped food rule.
In Other News. Scientific experts are predicting that this year a category 6 hurricane will hit Mar-a-Lago and totally wipe out the Den of Demonic Demons,(The Trump's mansion complex) all to hell.
