DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) - Press Extra reporter Voodoo Dupree, sister of comedian Zydeco Dupre, reports that the "Fly Over State" of Iowa has just voted to ban pornography in the state's bars, hotels, fast food chains, schools, and nail salons.
The vote was 59 to ban, 34 not to ban, and 7 abstentions.
Sen. Greta Gertrude Gillenfaust, 89, of Sioux City, stated that porn has no place in the sinless state of Iowa, where corn is king and cornbread is queen.
The senator then divulged that she, for one, wants porn to remain in Nevada and California, where it f*cking belongs.
Meanwhile, Tilapia Frisbee, with RumorLand News has acknowledged that many Iowans feel that viewing porn will lead to other worse things like speeding, drinking on school campuses, atheism, and having sexual relations (fucking) in the backseats of cars. ■
