PALM BEACH, Florida - (Satire News) - Word on the streets of Palm Beach is that fat ass Trump's urologist has informed him that the "Tub Of Lard" is so fucking fat that each of his ass cheeks weighs 65 pounds.
Dr. Othello P. Bottomwood, who claims to be 67, but official birth records show that he is actually 79, informed a writer with The United Americana News Agency that "El Blimpo" is so horribly ugly that he makes England's Loch Ness Monster look like a beautiful neon fish.
Writer Lottie Bungaloo noted that at 367¼ pounds, the "Puny Pee-Pee Punk" now weighs more than Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian combined.
SIDENOTE: Dr. Bottomwood, said that Trump is still consuming (or actually devouring 10 Big Macs on a daily basis.)
