FIDDLESTICK, Texas - (Satire News) - Meet Kate Flintmaker, a proud Texan from the bustling metropolis of Fiddlestick, Texas [Pop: 2,902]. Kate's family includes her mom Starlette Jo, dad Nolan Bob, and an army of 7,473 head of Black Angus cattle o…
Houston, TX – A team executive held a press conference recently, acknowledging how long their NFL season had already been over. “Look”, said the team rep. “We put our fans through a whole lot this year. Hell, nobody enjoyed watchin’ us unless…
TIJUANA, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico's Ole News Agency reports that the world famous Las Maracas Wedding Chapel is the only one in the Republic of Mexico that is open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. The chapel which is owned by the same famil…
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - Vegas oddsmakers are saying that the days of Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott are numbered. Abbott, who has proved to be as bad a governor as "The Treason Traitor" Trump was a golfing president. Even hard cor…
Since Greg Abbott is allergic to people, so much so that he won’t invite them to a debate between himself and Beto O’Rourke, not even the parents of the murdered children of Uvalde, Greg will now be ruling in complete secrecy. After the debate, he…
Vladimir Putin has pronounced from a podium while standing on a chair that he has annexed Texas. Propelled by his annexation of Ukraine territory, he decided to include Texas, and why not? It's only a paper deal. It isn't as though Texans will start…
Thursday morning, New York Democratic Governor Kathleen Hochul and Massachusetts Republican Governor, Charlie Baker convened an impromptu summit to address the cruel and likely illegal charade of exporting immigrants to New York City and Martha's Vin…
Texas has a new law legally mandating putting 'In God We Trust' posters in all schools - (if donated by Right Wing organizations to the schools). People who thought Texas Nutty in the past can't believe the new level of creative Nuttiness - but f…
Merrick Garland, former Attorney General of the US, was appointed as the chief for the embattled Uvalde police force, city officials announced on Friday. The acting police chief was suspended last week after scathing findings from the investigatio…
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The state senate of Texas has decided to make changes to state booklets on tourism. By a vote of 61 to 19, with 20 abstintations, the senate will have the state printing company show in the Texas tourism brochures t…
According to one source, from 1976 to 2021 the state of Texas has executed 573 inmates. The next highest states are Virginia and Oklahoma, with 113 each. According to my calculator, those last two states missed out on killing 460 people. According…
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Satire News) - Global warming is a factual fact. Climate change is a factual fact. But "Baby Fingers" Trump, who insists it is all just a hoax, that was invented by Nancy Pelosi and her fellow Democrats, is as fucked up as a mon…
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," better known as "The Asshole From Texas," recently told a reporter with The Amarillo Morning Messenger newspaper that he is even more popular than Texas athletes Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Jose Altuve…
LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) - The average summer temperature in Laredo, Texas is 106. But thanks to the Canadian Yukon Express of 2022, the city on the US-Mexico border just saw 27 inches of snow fall on the town on the Rio Grande River. Lare…
GALVESTON, Texas - (Satire News) - A hot, sexy, sensuous woman, who was a member of The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, has just been elected sheriff of Galveston County. Libby Upperweather, who stands 5-foot-6-inches, weighs 119-pounds, and proudly p…
Governor Greg Abbot (Hey, Abbot! anyone remember that ... anyone?) of Texas has approved a new law burning any books he doesn’t like. So far, this includes all books ever written by women, gay people, black people, Hispanic people, Asian people,…
AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott today signed legislation into law obligating all Texas residents and elected officials to publicly and openly 'mock' people from other states whenever they mention any of the perceived benefits related to natur…
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