Texas, the Serial Killer

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 22 July 2022

image for Texas, the Serial Killer
Ch Ch Ch Ch Ah Ah Ah Ah ... Texas ...

According to one source, from 1976 to 2021 the state of Texas has executed 573 inmates. The next highest states are Virginia and Oklahoma, with 113 each. According to my calculator, those last two states missed out on killing 460 people.

According to Wikipedia. Samuel Little is America’s most prolific serial killer, at 60 proven victims, and 93 suspected victims. Gary Ridgway, known as The Green River Killer, comes second with 49 proven and a suspected 71-90+ victims.

That’s not so bad when put up against some of the serial killers around the world. The man at the top of victims is a Columbian fellow named Luis Garavito, with 193 proven victims, and suspected 300 victims. Wowzers!

But none of them can come close to Texas. Texas is the greatest American serial killer. Or, should it be called “The Mass Murder State”? (“Friendship” is the Texas state motto, since that’s what the Spanish said the native indigenous word sounded like. A far way to go for completely ironic bullshit.)

If a state does it, it’s nice and legal. If an individual acts like a state, that’s bad.

One could say, philosophically, if a state kills, then anyone within that state who also kills should be let go? Otherwise, why not lock up the state officials or whoever authorizes legal mass murder?

(If Greg Abbott doesn’t call ahead and save a killer’s life, then is he a kind of killer himself? Kind of in the way that Trump didn’t do anything for about 3 hours when the mob stormed the capitol. Doing nothing can be a form of accessory before, during and after the fact, yes?)

And of course it has been proven too often that racist cops may turn an innocent non-white man into a killer by planting evidence, or just lying on the stand, whatever, same law – and then kill him … but, again, Texas takes no blame. (People in positions of power never “man up”, or accept the consequences of their actions, but insist on everyone else doing so. Is that Alanis Morissette singing?)

How many innocent “killers” have been killed by Texas? If they add up to 3 or more (according to what makes a killer serial), then Texas has to execute itself. Yes?

Still, with Texas still putting inmates in the hot seat, then turning on the juice, it makes itself as bad as those it warns others about. As long as the governor thinks he’s being holy, then death at his hand is made godly.

Lock your doors, nail your windows shut ... Texas is on the loose!

(And they're in the mood for some 'cruel and unusual!')

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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