Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Mandates That From Now On All Early Voting Democrat Ballots Will Have To Be Placed In a Ballot Box In Amarillo

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 14 July 2022

image for Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Mandates That From Now On All Early Voting Democrat Ballots Will Have To Be Placed In a Ballot Box In Amarillo
Texans hate Gov. Abbott more than orange growers hate freezing weather.

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," better known as "The Asshole From Texas," recently told a reporter with The Amarillo Morning Messenger newspaper that he is even more popular than Texas athletes Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Jose Altuve (Astros), Luka Doncic (Mavericks), Keldon Johnson (Spurs), and Martin Perez (Rangers).

Abbott, who was hit in the head with a bowling ball on his 61st birthday, says that everyday he rolls two miles on his wheelchair.

He was asked about the fact that a flamingo got in front of him a few days and he ran it over.

Abbott explained it off by saying that he pink feathered bird had no business on Interstate 35.

He was asked about his mandating that EVERY early voting Democrat ballot in the ENTIRE state of Texas has to be put in a ballot box in Amarillo!

Abbott sneezed, took a hit of some garlic-flavored throat spray and replied, that yes, since he is basically the king of Texas, he is allowed to cheat in any way, shape, or form that he sees fit, in or order to keep from losing the gubernatorial race to the El Paso Prince, Beto O'Rourke.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more