Criminals can't wait for the post-COVID era and mask exclusivity

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 21 May 2021

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Criminals are feeling shortchanged now with everyone wearing masks

The rumbling and grumbling is apparent on urban streets across the country, and probably the world. Those living outside the law are feeling shortchanged and pushed aside as a result of the COVID-19 crisis that has dominated the news over the past 16 months.

Lefty Loose, an old hand from Detroit sums it up nicely: "You think anyone cares 'bout us? No way! How often you see us in the news lately? We need come consideration here man! We gotta make end meet too...you got evra Tom, Dick & Harry maskin' up now. "

Lefty's biggest problem is the masks. Used to be they were pretty much reserved for criminals. Not any more. Lefty says that's very bad for business. How am i supposed to knock off a bank or even a liquor store during this [expletive withheld].

I asked Lefty what is stopping him from going about his business - which happens to be armed robbery. "Cuz they won't pay me no attention man! You wearing a mask, you look just like everybody else man!

Understandably Lefty is operating on a short fuse these days as a result of his frustrations.

A New Yorker with a giant head who chose to remain anonymous and asked to be identified only as Rudy G. told us "I happen to operate on both sides of the law, and I can tell you for sure that these guys are suffering right now..." Rudy wandered off before we could ask a follow up question, but it seemed clear to us, he's looking forward to the post-COVID era when the question of who's who will once again have an answer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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