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Funny satire stories about Theft

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Writers Block Cured by Smith and Wesson

Funny story: Writers Block Cured by Smith and Wesson

My House - At the end of a busy day, around 11:00pm on a Friday evening, this writer found the alone time he needed to finally get some work done. Thanks to a disagreement over a questionable financial decision involving the purchase of one Harley-Davidson motorcycle (which, it is worth mentioning, should only grow in value if well-maintained - a task I feel entirely capable of managing), my wif...

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Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"

Funny story: Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"

Milwaukee, Wisconsin—A 20-year-old US Postal Service worker, whom police are calling “Jane Doe,” admitted to having stolen over 6,000 greeting cards full of cash or checks. “But it wasn't for the money,” Doe insisted during her arraignment. She...

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Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House

Funny story: Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House

There was trouble with a capital 'T' in Tapon this morning when it was discovered that a bicycle belonging to the daughter of a writer at satirical news website TheSpoof.com had been stolen. Delma Kenwood, 3, daughter of Moys Kenwood, loved that f...

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EVA Air Fork Missing

Funny story: EVA Air Fork Missing

There was 'tension around the table' in one Battambang household on Monday evening, when it was revealed that an airline fork, part of a cherished collection of airline cutlery, had gone missing. The fork - stolen from an EVA Air flight from Bang...

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74 year-old Ninja cat burglar faster than Japanese police!

Funny story: 74 year-old Ninja cat burglar faster than Japanese police!

Osaka, Japan: A spate of robberies bamboozled Japanese police in Osaka as every time the cat burglar struck he was so fast nobody could catch him! Dressed in a Ninja outfit, the police thought he must be an upset Ninja warrior frustrated at not be...

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Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!

Funny story: Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!

Now in the days of sophisticated technology, hacking computers, CCTV cameras, smartphones, etc. A Birmingham (UK) bungling burglar wins first prize in being a total technological "dickhead!" The gentleman applied for a job at a betting shop in Bir...

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Bank Robbing Tip 37: Don't Forget to Run in the Street Naked

Funny story: Bank Robbing Tip 37: Don't Forget to Run in the Street Naked

As if we couldn't make this up ourselves, our attention unfortunately goes down to Florida the Sunshine State. The place where women run around in bikinis and the toughest decision one has to make is which beach to go to with your friends. A stat...

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Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Funny story: Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Two dimwit car burglars in Florida, wearing mandatory butt pants, attempted to burgle a car standing on a lonely parking area 'butt', the burglary went slightly pear-shape as they attempted to escape the scene of the crime! Caught on police CCTV c...

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Donald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"

Funny story: Donald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"

WASHINGTON, DC - President-Elect Donald Trump will be producing two other reality TV shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice" and one of these will be a mainstay on Faux News. Faux News, not to be confused with FOX News, is a supposed news channel tha...

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Kim Kardashian Will Sue City of Paris After Robbery

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Will Sue City of Paris After Robbery

Los Angeles, CA After her TV show was put on hold following her harrowing robbery in Paris where she was tied up and robbed, Kim Kardashian began a new crusade. "This incident really put the 'bare ass' in embarrassment" ranted Kim. "How could anyo...

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School Magazine Shut Down

Funny story: School Magazine Shut Down

In an unprecedented move Pfennigs the notorious law firm of London who protect their clients from 'defamation' have moved on The Sacred Heart Girls Secondary School in Hull, England. The students published a letter in their weekly online magazine...

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Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

Funny story: Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

In a major victory for a campaign run by The Sunday Telegraph, the Department for Justice will move to bring in a new law protecting criminals who break into people's houses. Ahead of the new law being introduced in the House of Lords this week, C...

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Two robbers chased down by lionhearted Englanders on a combine harvester

Funny story: Two robbers chased down by lionhearted Englanders on a combine harvester

SOMEWHERE NEAR A CROP CIRCLE IN ENGLAND - When a fleet of fast police patrol cars isn't available, there's always a very odd chance that the trusty combine harvester might be around to go after rogue criminals. A trio of Englishmen stopped gun-wie...

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Police issue warning of a gang of 'criminal masterminds'

Funny story: Police issue warning of a gang of 'criminal masterminds'

Police from several forces have joined together to urge people to be on the lookout for a gang of crooks after a spate of robberies, thefts and other crimes which have left thousands of people penniless and terrorized many others. Throughout the c...

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'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter

Funny story: 'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter

A heartless thief broke into the property of locally named Spack McCrackin, in Cradley Heath, West Midlands, and 'fled' on the £2,000 machine. Det Con Stirling Moss said: "This is a very upsetting case as one person's thoughtless crime as left the...

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Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

Funny story: Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...

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Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

Funny story: Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

A shopkeeper who fell victim to a distraction theft says he has been overwhelmed with well wishes. A man entered the Bookshop in East Grinstead, West Sussex and asked for a cup of tea, before reaching into the shopkeeper's pockets and stealing his...

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Poor Blackout of solar eclipse blamed for scuppered robbery

Funny story: Poor Blackout of solar eclipse blamed for scuppered robbery

The O'Reilly Twins from Westerhailes in Edinburgh were caught red handed boarding a number 25 bus just two minutes after raiding the Sparkles Jewellery Emporium on Friday. Using the solar eclipse as cover, at approximately 9.30am, the bungling robber...

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