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Funny satire stories about Theft

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Funny story: Liz Truss has some dressing gowns for Sale

Liz Truss has some dressing gowns for Sale

You may not remember Liz Truss. Conservative. Short. Blonde. Snappy Dresser? Former Prime Minister? Agent against Cheese importers? No? The opener of Beijing Pork Markets? Ah, now you remember! Anyway, she now has some dressing g…

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Funny story: Dr. Futuro On Electric Cars - Stealing Electricity Will Be Big

Dr. Futuro On Electric Cars - Stealing Electricity Will Be Big

In a few years - we all will be driving electric cars, said Dr. Futuro - with his Einstein hair and glasses - the well - known London based Futurologist. And you know what that means - all kinds of Human Shenanigans. The Human race is infinitely…

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Funny story: British Historians Discover Robin Hood's Diary and Contrary to Popular Belief They Learn That He Did Steal From The Rich BUT He KEPT It

British Historians Discover Robin Hood's Diary and Contrary to Popular Belief They Learn That He Did Steal From The Rich BUT He KEPT It

LIVERPOOL, England - (Satire News) - The legendary heroic rogue Robin Hood and his Merrie Men (including the sexy-as-hell) Maid Marion have hit the front pages of historical publications. London's The Blimey Blooming Blithering Spectator Revue has…

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Funny story: Dastardly Thieves Break Into London's Petula Clark Art Gallery And Make Off With 19 Extremely Expensive Paintings

Dastardly Thieves Break Into London's Petula Clark Art Gallery And Make Off With 19 Extremely Expensive Paintings

LONDON – (UK Satire) – In what London law enforcement authorities are calling one of the most brazen art heists in recent history, a group of six thieves, dressed as Buckingham Palace guards, have made off with 19 extremely expensive paintings. Th…

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Funny story: 47 Brazen-As-Hell Smash and Grab Vandals Invade A McDonalds!

47 Brazen-As-Hell Smash and Grab Vandals Invade A McDonalds!

DETROIT – (Satire News) – The new “Smash & Grab” sickness is really getting out of hand. Reporter Papaya Bamboo with Tabloid Today was the first to report that originally the “Smash & Grab” jerks and jerkettes were hitting high-dollar sto…

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Funny story: Smash and Grab Vandals Target The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo

Smash and Grab Vandals Target The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo

TARZANA, Cailfornia – (Satire News) – The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo was the victim of a flash mob’s smash and grab attack. According to security video, the incident occurred at 3:05 am, when most of the petting zoo animals were sound asleep.

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Funny story: A Man In Hot Springs, Arkansas, Holds Up a McDonald’s Drive-Thru Window

A Man In Hot Springs, Arkansas, Holds Up a McDonald’s Drive-Thru Window

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas – (Satire News) – The Hot Springs Police Department reports that a tall, slender individual, who looked a lot like Matt Gaetz, but not anywhere near as fat, or as ridiculously overweight, drove up to a McDonalds drive-thru and h…

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Funny story: A Purse Snatcher In Detroit Arrested For Shooting A $1.2 Million Security Robot

A Purse Snatcher In Detroit Arrested For Shooting A $1.2 Million Security Robot

DETROIT – (Satire News) – The latest thing in security systems is the Autonomous Security Robot. Dow Chemical has produced the SR-907 Humdinger Extraordinaire and it is changing the way companies view security. The conical Chubby Wubby, as it h…

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Funny story: London man caged for shouting at burglar

London man caged for shouting at burglar

A London man was given two consecutive life sentences at The Old Bailey yesterday after being found guilty of shouting loudly at a burglar who had broken into his home in the early hours of the morning in March 2021. Toby Dell, a retired forklift…

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Funny story: Criminals can't wait for the post-COVID era and mask exclusivity

Criminals can't wait for the post-COVID era and mask exclusivity

The rumbling and grumbling is apparent on urban streets across the country, and probably the world. Those living outside the law are feeling shortchanged and pushed aside as a result of the COVID-19 crisis that has dominated the news over the past 16…

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Funny story: Experience: Jeremy Corbyn stole my Rhubarb

Experience: Jeremy Corbyn stole my Rhubarb

I'd had an allotment in Islington for a few years, and other allotment owners had warned me about security, saying that theft was a problem. I didn't believe it, at first. I mean, who wants to steal small amounts of home-grown fruit and vegetables…

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Funny story: Career Criminal Caught

Career Criminal Caught

In a triumph for justice, a 56-year-old theft was finally solved today, and the perpetrator brought to book. Eddie Gleeson, 97, of Middlesbrough, was arrested after a successful police sting outside the city's central library yesterday. Criminal…

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Funny story: Orgasm theft is crude, messy and indiscriminate - but good value for money

Orgasm theft is crude, messy and indiscriminate - but good value for money

The war on the trade in illegally harvested orgasms is becoming more intense as the 3-year waiting list for NHS orgasm transfusion is leaving patients desperate and gagging. “Orgasm harvesting is intrusive, debilitating and messy,” said Brenda O’…

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Funny story: Masked Batman and Robin attempt to rob a sweet shop in Putney, London!

Masked Batman and Robin attempt to rob a sweet shop in Putney, London!

Two masked anti-heroes marched into a sweet shop yesterday, dressed as Batman and Robin, and threatened the owner, a 75-year-old female pensioner dressed as Catwoman, with a plastic knife, if she didn't hand over all the bubble gum in the shop! Lu…

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Funny story: A Man is Injured Trying to Break Into an ATM with a Hand Grenade

A Man is Injured Trying to Break Into an ATM with a Hand Grenade

FARGO, North Dakota – An unemployed pharmacist was arrested, earlier today, after he tried to break into a First Pioneer Bank ATM machine using a hand grenade. Dr. Abner P. Hogwood, who received second-degree injuries, was asked by police why in t…

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Funny story: The Meat Of The Tale

The Meat Of The Tale

A notorious Carlisle steak thief has finally being apprehended after police used “baited meat” to lure him into a Londis in rural Cumbria. Thief, David Pattison, who looks like the back of a spoon had a baby with the Goblin King from Labyrinth, was...

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Funny story: Banks Are Stealing All Your Money

Banks Are Stealing All Your Money

News is emerging from a number of different sources that, under the very noses of millions of investors, banks are stealing the money they are supposed to be safeguarding. The awful and difficult-to-believe news was first aired on a bus going in t...

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