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Funny satire stories about Theft

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Funny story: Sajid Javid May Have Stolen One Million 50p Brexit Coins

Sajid Javid May Have Stolen One Million 50p Brexit Coins

Master of the Mint, Sajid Javid, is being held by officers from Scotland Yard this morning, after it was discovered a huge haul of special Brexit celebration 50p coins could not be accounted for. The commemorative coins should have gone into gener...

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Funny story: London Man Caged For Shouting At Burglar

London Man Caged For Shouting At Burglar

A London man was given two consecutive life sentences at The Old Bailey yesterday, after being found guilty of shouting loudly at a burglar who had broken into his home in the early hours of the morning in June of this year. Toby Dell, a postman f...

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Funny story: London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Palace Bling

London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Palace Bling

London, UK - A $50m stolen jewellery trail from a City of London heist is suspected of having been fenced into eager royal hands. The 2015 Hatton Garden theft saw a gang of professional safecrackers tunnel their way into a jewellery shop’s undergr...

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Funny story: Writers Block Cured by Smith and Wesson

Writers Block Cured by Smith and Wesson

My House - At the end of a busy day, around 11:00pm on a Friday evening, this writer found the alone time he needed to finally get some work done. Thanks to a disagreement over a questionable financial decision involving the purchase of one Harley-Davidson motorcycle (which, it is worth mentioning, should only grow in value if well-maintained - a task I feel entirely capable of managing), my wif...

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Funny story: Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"

Police on mail bandit Jane Doe: "She's quite a card!"

Milwaukee, Wisconsin—A 20-year-old US Postal Service worker, whom police are calling “Jane Doe,” admitted to having stolen over 6,000 greeting cards full of cash or checks. “But it wasn't for the money,” Doe insisted during her arraignment. She...

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Funny story: Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House

Little Girl's Bike Stolen From Outside House

There was trouble with a capital 'T' in Tapon this morning when it was discovered that a bicycle belonging to the daughter of a writer at satirical news website TheSpoof.com had been stolen. Delma Kenwood, 3, daughter of Moys Kenwood, loved that f...

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Funny story: EVA Air Fork Missing

EVA Air Fork Missing

There was 'tension around the table' in one Battambang household on Monday evening, when it was revealed that an airline fork, part of a cherished collection of airline cutlery, had gone missing. The fork - stolen from an EVA Air flight from Bang...

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Funny story: 74 year-old Ninja cat burglar faster than Japanese police!

74 year-old Ninja cat burglar faster than Japanese police!

Osaka, Japan: A spate of robberies bamboozled Japanese police in Osaka as every time the cat burglar struck he was so fast nobody could catch him! Dressed in a Ninja outfit, the police thought he must be an upset Ninja warrior frustrated at not be...

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Funny story: Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!

Bungling Birmingham burglar blows burglary; he forgot to ask for his CV!

Now in the days of sophisticated technology, hacking computers, CCTV cameras, smartphones, etc. A Birmingham (UK) bungling burglar wins first prize in being a total technological "dickhead!" The gentleman applied for a job at a betting shop in Bir...

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Funny story: Bank Robbing Tip 37: Don't Forget to Run in the Street Naked

Bank Robbing Tip 37: Don't Forget to Run in the Street Naked

As if we couldn't make this up ourselves, our attention unfortunately goes down to Florida the Sunshine State. The place where women run around in bikinis and the toughest decision one has to make is which beach to go to with your friends. A stat...

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Funny story: Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Florida car burglars literally caught with their pants down!

Two dimwit car burglars in Florida, wearing mandatory butt pants, attempted to burgle a car standing on a lonely parking area 'butt', the burglary went slightly pear-shape as they attempted to escape the scene of the crime! Caught on police CCTV c...

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Funny story: Donald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"

Donald Trump to produce two other reality shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice"

WASHINGTON, DC - President-Elect Donald Trump will be producing two other reality TV shows besides "Celebrity Apprentice" and one of these will be a mainstay on Faux News. Faux News, not to be confused with FOX News, is a supposed news channel tha...

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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Will Sue City of Paris After Robbery

Kim Kardashian Will Sue City of Paris After Robbery

Los Angeles, CA After her TV show was put on hold following her harrowing robbery in Paris where she was tied up and robbed, Kim Kardashian began a new crusade. "This incident really put the 'bare ass' in embarrassment" ranted Kim. "How could anyo...

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Funny story: School Magazine Shut Down

School Magazine Shut Down

In an unprecedented move Pfennigs the notorious law firm of London who protect their clients from 'defamation' have moved on The Sacred Heart Girls Secondary School in Hull, England. The students published a letter in their weekly online magazine...

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Funny story: Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

In a major victory for a campaign run by The Sunday Telegraph, the Department for Justice will move to bring in a new law protecting criminals who break into people's houses. Ahead of the new law being introduced in the House of Lords this week, C...

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Funny story: Two robbers chased down by lionhearted Englanders on a combine harvester

Two robbers chased down by lionhearted Englanders on a combine harvester

SOMEWHERE NEAR A CROP CIRCLE IN ENGLAND - When a fleet of fast police patrol cars isn't available, there's always a very odd chance that the trusty combine harvester might be around to go after rogue criminals. A trio of Englishmen stopped gun-wie...

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Funny story: Police issue warning of a gang of 'criminal masterminds'

Police issue warning of a gang of 'criminal masterminds'

Police from several forces have joined together to urge people to be on the lookout for a gang of crooks after a spate of robberies, thefts and other crimes which have left thousands of people penniless and terrorized many others. Throughout the c...

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