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The Reason Snoop Dogg wears Indian headdresses is because he is a closet homosexual

Funny story: The Reason Snoop Dogg wears Indian headdresses is because he is a closet homosexual

I joined Snoop Dogg's vast enterouge of drug dealing thugs; whores of all shapes, sizes, races, and peculiarities; along with some actual American Indian chiefs at his powwow in the Bronx Monday afternoon. Snoop Dogg's admission fee for the powwow wa...

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Cuba Signs Paroled Cannibal As Striker

Funny story: Cuba Signs Paroled Cannibal As Striker

Looking to beef up their roster for the year, The Cuban National Football Team hired recently paroled cannibal Pepe Kerjoly. Hailing from a Serbian/Cuban family, Kerjoly was identified by prison scouts when he was a teenager and led the prison foo...

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Police Find Low-Riding Pants Very Easy To Catch

Funny story: Police Find Low-Riding Pants Very Easy To Catch

Washington, D.C. - A recent study conducted by the U.S. Justice Department found that arrest rates for crimes of all sorts, in every major metropolitan area in the last five years, were way, way up! And the key reason seems to be the ridiculous fash...

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How do We Improve Our Prisons?

Funny story: How do We Improve Our Prisons?

"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...

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Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

Funny story: Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

In a major victory for a campaign run by The Sunday Telegraph, the Department for Justice will move to bring in a new law protecting criminals who break into people's houses. Ahead of the new law being introduced in the House of Lords this week, C...

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Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Last time, Richard Littlejohn boldly and courageously vindicated the honour of some boring, dusty Athenian smart-arse that nobody gives a crap about. Nope! I don't mean that postmodern ivory tower casino economics dude from Syriza, but if the cap fits… Oh wait, that was a bit stereotypically "right-wing" wasn't it? Must be catching, huh? Yes, in my last column, I was long-windedly holding...

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NY escaped criminals on way to join Bernie Sanders

According to the latest reports we have, the escaped New York killer criminals are on their way to Bernie Sanders' headquarters in Burlington Vermont. The criminals were cornered by a policemen at the border of Vermont, with a bull horn and a 'oug...

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Police May Use Military Conscious Spray (U-24) on Criminals

Funny story: Police May Use Military Conscious Spray (U-24) on Criminals

New York City has asked authorities in Washington DC about the use of U-24 spray used by our military. This spray would certainly result in fewer deaths and injuries so why can't it be used on criminals or to disrupt crowds, NYC cops wish to know.

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Ohio Implements A Mug Shot Law

Funny story: Ohio Implements A Mug Shot Law

COLUMBUS, Ohio - The state of Ohio has just passed a new law regarding criminal mug shots. State Senator Alyssa Wordwiggle, 43, [D-Cincinnati] spearheaded the law referred to as The Senator Alyssa Wordwiggle Smiling Mug Shot Law, after she was app...

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Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Funny story: Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Nutterville DE: An ordinance was passed by the town council that prohibits idling a vehicle's engine for more than five minutes in a 60 minute period. Violations could result in a $100 fine. A town meeting was called to protest the town's rabid en...

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Halloween Monsters Really Do Exist

Funny story: Halloween Monsters Really Do Exist

With Halloween around the corner society has come to the realization that monsters may really be lurking out on Halloween night. Communities around Los Angeles plan to take action to protect children from real life monsters also known as offenders.

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Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Funny story: Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Manchester has suffered the worst riots and public unrest in the city's history. Yobs, youths, and grown men that should know better, laid siege to the centre of Manchester last night. A government spokesman said early this morning: "These fol...

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England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

Funny story: England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

England was tonight bracing itself for yet another night of civil unrest and rioting. Violence and destruction is no longer confined to London and the London boroughs, and has now spread as far as Manchester and Leeds, Bristol, Wolverhampton and Birm...

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Criminals to have their sentences stretched!

Funny story: Criminals to have their sentences stretched!

Following the recent misunderstandings in Tottenham, North London, the government is to consider bringing forward changes designed to increase the amount of prison places available. The new system, thought up by High Court judge Sir Henry Parsnip-Bro...

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Cheques Bounce Back - Crooks Celebrate!

Funny story: Cheques Bounce Back - Crooks Celebrate!

Cheques have been saved following a public outcry and the intervention of MPs. The Payments Council, which represents banks and payment groups, yesterday announced that plans to scrap them have been dropped. They were due to be banned from October...

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Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

Funny story: Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you...

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Criminals no longer to be offered "two for the price of one" on serious crimes

Funny story: Criminals no longer to be offered "two for the price of one" on serious crimes

A controversial scheme in which criminals were allowed to commit two crimes but only go to prison for one of them has been scrapped. Minister of Justice Herbert Folly has said he will no longer try to get the law enacted, explaining that when he had...

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IMF Head Discovers 'Rikers Island' Is Not Plush Co-op Apartment in the Hamptons!

Funny story: IMF Head Discovers 'Rikers Island' Is Not Plush Co-op Apartment in the Hamptons!

Temporarily 'indisposed' IMF head Strauss-Kahn (DSK) is said to be shocked, dazed and confused after finding out Rikers Island was not the day spa in the Hamptons where he would be waited on hand and foot at the government's expense. Checking his...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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