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Funny story: Trump Pardons Fun Lovin' Criminals

Trump Pardons Fun Lovin' Criminals

There was consternation in the US legal system today as The White House announced an addition to so-called President Trump's recent flurry of pardons for his reality TV cast of lickspittles, cronies and ne'er-do-wells. The announcement came in Trump'...

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Funny story: Criminals could get Legal Aid

Criminals could get Legal Aid

Tabloid rage swelled to tumescent levels this week when it was revealed that suspected criminals in the UK were eligible to receive Legal Aid. Geoff Bile of the Daily Clench exclaimed, “This is political correctness gone mad! How dare those elitis...

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Funny story: Trump State Visit to UK Announced: Londoners Cock-a-hoop

Trump State Visit to UK Announced: Londoners Cock-a-hoop

"Cor, blimey, guv. You couldn't make it up. I'm sure that Londoners will come together in droves to give him a warm welcome." These were the words of London Mayor and son of a Tooting bus driver, Sadiq Khan, as he learned that dates have been set for...

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Funny story: Trump Plans To Release American Criminals Along Length Of US/Mexico Border

Trump Plans To Release American Criminals Along Length Of US/Mexico Border

Hamstrung by the Democrat Party's stubborn refusal to agree to the public funding of his Mexican Wall project, President Donald Trump has hatched a new idea to protect the country's precious southern border - he will release thousands of America's ow...

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Funny story: The Reason Snoop Dogg wears Indian headdresses is because he is a closet homosexual

The Reason Snoop Dogg wears Indian headdresses is because he is a closet homosexual

I joined Snoop Dogg's vast enterouge of drug dealing thugs; whores of all shapes, sizes, races, and peculiarities; along with some actual American Indian chiefs at his powwow in the Bronx Monday afternoon. Snoop Dogg's admission fee for the powwow wa...

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Funny story: Cuba Signs Paroled Cannibal As Striker

Cuba Signs Paroled Cannibal As Striker

Looking to beef up their roster for the year, The Cuban National Football Team hired recently paroled cannibal Pepe Kerjoly. Hailing from a Serbian/Cuban family, Kerjoly was identified by prison scouts when he was a teenager and led the prison foo...

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Funny story: Police Find Low-Riding Pants Very Easy To Catch

Police Find Low-Riding Pants Very Easy To Catch

Washington, D.C. - A recent study conducted by the U.S. Justice Department found that arrest rates for crimes of all sorts, in every major metropolitan area in the last five years, were way, way up! And the key reason seems to be the ridiculous fash...

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Funny story: How do We Improve Our Prisons?

How do We Improve Our Prisons?

"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...

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Funny story: Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

Homeowners must provide pamphlets guiding potential burglars to high value items

In a major victory for a campaign run by The Sunday Telegraph, the Department for Justice will move to bring in a new law protecting criminals who break into people's houses. Ahead of the new law being introduced in the House of Lords this week, C...

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Funny story: Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Littlejohn Revives Spectre of Yewtree: Let Socrates Rest in Peace! (2/2)

Last time, Richard Littlejohn boldly and courageously vindicated the honour of some boring, dusty Athenian smart-arse that nobody gives a crap about. Nope! I don't mean that postmodern ivory tower casino economics dude from Syriza, but if the cap fits… Oh wait, that was a bit stereotypically "right-wing" wasn't it? Must be catching, huh? Yes, in my last column, I was long-windedly holding...

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Funny story: NY escaped criminals on way to join Bernie Sanders

NY escaped criminals on way to join Bernie Sanders

According to the latest reports we have, the escaped New York killer criminals are on their way to Bernie Sanders' headquarters in Burlington Vermont. The criminals were cornered by a policemen at the border of Vermont, with a bull horn and a 'oug...

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Funny story: Police May Use Military Conscious Spray (U-24) on Criminals

Police May Use Military Conscious Spray (U-24) on Criminals

New York City has asked authorities in Washington DC about the use of U-24 spray used by our military. This spray would certainly result in fewer deaths and injuries so why can't it be used on criminals or to disrupt crowds, NYC cops wish to know.

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Funny story: Ohio Implements A Mug Shot Law

Ohio Implements A Mug Shot Law

COLUMBUS, Ohio - The state of Ohio has just passed a new law regarding criminal mug shots. State Senator Alyssa Wordwiggle, 43, [D-Cincinnati] spearheaded the law referred to as The Senator Alyssa Wordwiggle Smiling Mug Shot Law, after she was app...

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Funny story: Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Nutterville DE: An ordinance was passed by the town council that prohibits idling a vehicle's engine for more than five minutes in a 60 minute period. Violations could result in a $100 fine. A town meeting was called to protest the town's rabid en...

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Funny story: Halloween Monsters Really Do Exist

Halloween Monsters Really Do Exist

With Halloween around the corner society has come to the realization that monsters may really be lurking out on Halloween night. Communities around Los Angeles plan to take action to protect children from real life monsters also known as offenders.

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Funny story: Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Manchester Riots: MP's Enraged

Manchester has suffered the worst riots and public unrest in the city's history. Yobs, youths, and grown men that should know better, laid siege to the centre of Manchester last night. A government spokesman said early this morning: "These fol...

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Funny story: England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

England Riots: Public Enemy Number One

England was tonight bracing itself for yet another night of civil unrest and rioting. Violence and destruction is no longer confined to London and the London boroughs, and has now spread as far as Manchester and Leeds, Bristol, Wolverhampton and Birm...

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