New board game "COVID v. Cancel...i.e. No Life" selling like hotcakes on Amazon!

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Thursday, 20 May 2021

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COVID v. Cancel: A board game truly for our time!

It's surely a sign of the times since it would make no sense in any other point in human history. COVID v. Cancel i.e. No Life is a new board game modeled after Extreme LIFE.

In the game, players move across the board encountering various recreational activities, life events, and random encounters; they are then required to name the reason why each cannot happen - typically it's either COVID-19 or today's formidable Cancel Culture.

Players are awarded points based on their question's level of difficulty. Bonus points are available by landing on "DreamTime" squares which give the player a chance to take a nap and select from a menu of "Nice Dreams" that include a "Caribbean Getaway Vacation, Play QB for your favorite NFL team, Participate in an Orgy or "Police your town". Should they choose that last option, the player gets to patrol his/her/they're town center and yell at pedestrians not wearing masks or otherwise for somehow appearing to enjoy life in any way.

Points can be used to pretend shop on Amazon, watch Netflix movies or online porn, etc. Each player is encouraged to keep a diary of his/her/they're activities that they can reflect on in the future.

Adding to the drama, unlucky players might land on squares or draw cards that declare they are suffering from various maladies like heart disease, fatty liver, depression or a variety of others. The more serious the illness, the more turns the player loses.

In fact, "COVID v. Cancel, i.e No Life" has all the typical aspects we've come to expect from a board game, the only exception being there is no winner. It seems we must accept this as another sign of the times.

Reached by phone for comment, Wolf Jokovic, Comms Director for Milton Bradley told us; "We didn't feel it would be appropriate to have winners in this game. Aside from the obvious, just think how disrespectful it would be to the other players."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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