Anti-Masking Protest ends badly: 36 vehicles damaged

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Sunday, 16 May 2021

image for Anti-Masking Protest ends badly: 36 vehicles damaged
Protesters in a state of frenzy, before the car crashes

Tragedy struck today at an anti-mask protest in downtown Springfield, MA. Over 600 people attended the rally at City Hall Plaza on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

Protesters were whipped into a frenzy by a rousing speech delivered by activist leader Jasper Brown. In his speech, Brown railed against the “tyranny of the CDC” and finished off in a highly animated state, saying that if fellow protesters wished to understand their compliant mask-wearing counterparts, they should wear their masks over their eyes.

It’s not clear if Brown meant the idea literally but the majority of the crowd did while shouting insults ridiculing “the stupidity of the passive compliance” that they depict as a practice of mask -wearers.

An ominous sign of things to come emerged at that point as protesters milled around blindly colliding with trees and each other. A few conflicts ensued, but only one physical confrontation.

The real trouble came when protesters got in their cars to leave. At last count 36 vehicles were damaged in collisions.

Police sought and questioned Brown but did not charge him. The activist told us things didn’t work out as he intended. “I never thought people would drive that way! I guess I didn’t think it through. You see, I always use a bandana as a mask that is semi-transparent.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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