CRICKET BALLS, Mississippi – (Satire News) – The director of The Mississippi State Federation for Vaccines has just issued a statement that any adult over the age of 50, who gets a Coronavirus shot will be given a bale of cotton at no charge.
Ambrosia P. Winterspoon, the director of MSFV, said that the individual will have to make arrangements to either personally transport the bale, or pay to have it delivered.
She noted that the bale weighs 290 pounds and is valued at $85. The thrice-divorced Ms. Winterspoon, informed the news media that other states are also starting to give individuals incentives to get vaccinated, but no state, not even California, has a deal that matches Mississippi’s offer.
Winterspoon noted that the state of Georgia is handing out 3 peaches per person and pointed out that New Jersey is giving shot participants $12 gift certificates for cheese bagels from anyone of the hundreds of Bagel Babe Bistros located throughout the state.
Meanwhile, the state of Texas has informed its citizens that after individuals get their COVID-19 shots they can then head to the nearest La Chupacabra Bar & Grill, show your vaccine card, and receive a ‘free’ plate of barbecue brisket, sausage, and fajitas with all of the trimmings (including two Lone Star longneck beers).
SIDENOTE: Los Angeles Lakers superstar LeBron James heard about the free bale of cotton deal and he said that he is encouraging all of his Mississippi fans to get their shots as soon as possible.