David Singer tells us he usually takes things in stride. He doesn’t get too concerned about the “small stuff”. But this morning Mr. Singer is experiencing personal turmoil that may torment him for years to come.
It all came about because of a benign romantic pop song from 1984 titled: Every Time You go Away. As some folks know, the second line of expresses the romantic sentiment: "You take a piece of me with you."
But Mr. Singer, who is a carnivore and a voracious eater, thought the line was “You take a piece of meat with you”. While it seems to be an innocent mistake on the surface, it is feared some blowback may occur due to the fact that Mr. Singer’s erroneous version changes the genre of the tune from romantic to...possibly folk?
Attempts to reach artist Paul Young who for reaction have thus far been unsuccessful.
For his part, Mr. Singer is contrite but resolute. “I don’t intend to sing it that way again but after 40 years I can’t say if I might have a slip or two. I don’t see what all the fuss is about really”.
Mr. Singer is known for his almost superhuman ability to consume large quantities of food. Friends say he's quite naturally gifted and even has shark-like mechanism that causes his eyes to roll up into the back of his head as his teeth sink into his meal.
In an effort to capture this phenomenon we brought him roast beef hoagies on two occasions. However both times, Singer snatched the sub and disappeared into his home, only to emerge approximately 30 seconds later chewing non a toothpick.
During one of his sprees at an all you can eat buffet, he'd worked himself into an eating frenzy, a panicked mom had to snatch her baby away from him just in time after he’d apparently mistaken it as edible fare.
“That was an honest mistake” Singer told us in reference to the incident, “there was no problem between the family and myself in the end that day.”
According to eye witnesses, the mother nervously asked Singer to keep his distance from the infant after the incident. Mr. Singer refused to comment about the shaken mom's plea.
In fairness to Mr. Singer, were happy to report the infant has grown up to become a healthy and vibrant teenager. There have been no reports of such incidents involving Mr. Singer since that time.