EL PASO, Texas – (Satire News) – Alpha Beta’s Mimosa Sabrosa covered the 32nd Annual Taco Bell Jalapeno-Eating Contest, which was held at El Paso's Giggling Guacamole Restaurant. The yearly event draws participants from as far away as Delaware, De…
Joey Chestnut, who repeated his winning ways in this year’s edition of Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, accomplished the nearly miraculous and unbelievably revolting act of eating 76 full sized hotdogs and buns in roughly 10 minutes. It was a…
David Singer tells us he usually takes things in stride. He doesn’t get too concerned about the “small stuff”. But this morning Mr. Singer is experiencing personal turmoil that may torment him for years to come. It all came about because of a be…
The female owner of a local food eaterie which caters for Asian tastes has commented on the poor aim of many of her customers when attempting to toss refuse into the waste bin. The shop, which is open seven days per week, between the hours of mid…
Looking after your children properly and administering good advice is what being a parent is all about, and that's what one caring mom was thinking yesterday when she advised her four-year-old son that eating fruit and vegetables would make him big a…
BROOKLYN – Miki Sudo is a member of the Major League Eating Federation, and she has captured national eating titles in many categories. Over the July 4th holiday, Miki easily won the womens division of the Nathan’s Famous July Fourth Hot Dog Eatin…
MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...
Pyongyang, North Korea Roly-Poly Dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, who admitted he has been having problems with gout, an affliction usually associated with eating lots of rich foods, challenged Scamatologist Kirstie Alley to an eating contest.
Well, I'm happy to say that drinking is under control in our household. When I say it's under control, I mean we drink under controlled conditions. And that control, as those of you who've read my previous article know, is the size of the drinking receptacle. I provide the link at the end of this article for those who missed the previous one so that you can also get your drinking under control. An...
A 40-year-old man had to have hospital treatment after he ate his own finger. Ivor Wonmissin, from Gateshead, was poking about trying to pick out bits of meat that had got stuck in his teeth after his meal, when he accidentally bit into his index...
Hollywood, CA In news that will take no one by surprise, cultie Kirstie Alley has announced that she is no longer going to try to fake not being fat. In embracing her fatness, Ms. Alley is joining the International Federation of Competitive Eating i...
After the uproar at Copenhagen Zoo when the zoo owners took an inbred giraffe, killed it and then fed it to the lions, management of the zoo have unveiled new plans for future animals that are surplus to requirements. "We don't see what the proble...
A noxious cloud of methane laced bowel gas was released in Louisville during business hours.It appears that a greenish brown cloud wafted out of the Burritos as Big As Your Head restaurant and into a nearby clothing store, sources at the scene say.
Since there was no money any longer to keep the church cemetery mowed, a preacher in North Carolina borrowed some sheep from a local sheep farmer who had family buried in the church graveyard. "I thought we could just fence them off", stated Broth...
PHILADELPHIA--A recent study shows that over-eating may be one of the leading causes of obesity in Americans age 9-72. The Foundation for American Thickness Today and Yesterday (FATTY) issued the report last week, detailing the findings of their y...
MILWAUKEE - All of her life, Millicent "Milly" Sauerbraten has said she's wanted to do something that would go down in history. Well the 68-year-old grandmother has now achieved that goal. Mrs. Sauerbraten participated in the 73rd Annual Milwaukee...
Balham residents Mr. and Mrs. Lyndon Transport told Spoof journalist Paxton Quigley how 24/7 broadcasts of Come Dine With Me and a local Waitrose had ruined their lives by turning their children against them and making them into pariahs in the local...
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