Swampscott man still trying to catch first fish after 65 years

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Wednesday, 12 May 2021

image for Swampscott man still trying to catch first fish after 65 years
Here's Dave looking through the portal of a successful fishing boat. Word is the crew found his guidance very helpful!

Mr. Dave Singer considers himself part of a long line of sea going people from Massachusetts’ North Shore. With his old boss he co-owns a beautiful 30 ft sailboat and loves nothing more than being on the water. Sailing and fishing are two of Mr. Singer’s favorite pastimes and you’re likely to see Dave down on the docks wearing his Henry Fonda, On Golden Pond Indo surf hat, moseying around and gabbing with the boys.

When it comes to fishing, he knows all the lingo and has a tackle-box complete with all the gear and all the extras you can imagine. With other fishermen, he loves to gab about methods, tricks and reading favorable or unfavorable conditions on the surf, but when they get to stories of their conquests Dave tends to change the subject or otherwise offer his apologies and leave.

That’s because Dave has yet to catch a single fish,, even after an entire lifetime of casting those lines. It’s going on 65 years now in fact. Dave says he has no idea how he’s managed to go this long with no success, but he’s philosophical about it. “I don’t see anyone keeping score” he says. “It’s not like I’m doing it for a living and suffering those consequences. If I want a fish sandwich I’ll dish out the ten bucks.”

A lesson for us all, Dave amazingly maintains a positive, can-do attitude! “I have to believe I get a little better at it every day! I don’t let it bother me anymore like it used to at one time.

He’s referring to the days before he came to terms with his poor luck and decided to make an all-out assault on the fish. I was out there night and day for a few years.”

Asked if he thinks he has set a world record, Mr. Singer quickly changes the subject. "Looks like a storm on the horizon."

But Dave doesn’t consider all that time lost. In his mind, he’s made the most of it. “I’ve taught others to fish and they do just fine. I once stood beside a six year-old girl who used a kid’s toy fishing line, and wouldn’t you know she dropped the line and not five seconds later she was pulling out a little flounder! I was standing right there beside her when it happened!” Dave repeated.

Let’s all wish Dave the best of luck in 2021. If there’s any justice to be had, we believe Dave will finally catch himself a fish this coming summer!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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