It's what the newspapers have all been waiting for, the scoop of the moment, as the Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has announced that he is to commence writing a book documenting his recent nightmare experience on the Greek holiday island of Mykonos.
Maguire, 27, who confesses his favourite authors are Jilly Cooper, Patricia Highsmith, and Danielle Steel, has been using his spare lockdown time researching online, and claims he is ready to start his first literary project, provisionally named 'My Greek Tragedy'.
Not exactly in the style of Aeschylus, Euripedes or Sophocles, the United defender says the book will be a no-punches-pulled detailed account of his Mykonos nightmare, in which he was arrested, taken into custody, questioned, and bailed, completely in accordance with Greek law.
Later appearing in a court, where he was charged with aggravated assault, resisting arrest, and attempted bribery, Maguire was eventually sentenced to 21 months and 10 days in prison, suspended, and allowed to use his vast wealth to 'pay off' the authorities, and to avoid the unattractive prison sentence, just as nobody YOU know would have been able to do.
He has repeatedly claimed to have suffered at the hands of the Greek police, with many people saying that, no matter how much he suffered, it wasn't anywhere near enough.
Harry is currently preparing by sharpening his pencils and crayons.